Hello Fellas,
In this essay, I am dealing with Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammar. Please give me some feedback.
i will give you a thumb, if you comment on my writing with useful suggestion.
The question :
some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. others, however, argue that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the the punishment.
discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
In the last few decades, due largely to the considerable number of crimes, the crimes is becoming a debatable issue around the world. While some people believe that punishments for different crimes have to be repaired to be more justiciable, opponents contend that both circumstance of suspects and reasons why they commit crimes should be considered to make punishment. However, i would personally argue that mental personalities should not be disregarded as a consideration of deciding on the punishments.
To begin with, it is true that the punishments for each kind of crimes have to be upgraded inasmuch as every crime has different level of effect. The bigger effect is gained by culprits, the more punishments they will get. For example, a murderer will get 15 years for staying in a jail, whereas a pick pocket should live in the jail for less than 2 years. Thus, the punishments have to be decided by concerning what kinds of the crimes.
Motivation and circumstance of criminals encouraging to commit the crimes should be considered since many crimes for surviving people's live. Rio de jenairo, for instance, is an obvious example of trading dangerous drugs for constructing and maintaining schools and hospitals. Money earned by this illegal trade is addressed to be a fund to build any social charity. This indisputable fact underlines that the judgement of making the punishments must also concern about he motivation and circumstance of the culprits.
However, mental personality have to be a consideration of deciding punishments as some suspects do not realize that they have committed crimes. Take an example, Sumanto who has mental disorder has eaten a crop but he has merely gotten some mental treatments instead of being prisoned. For this case, i utterly argue that it is more wise if mental ability becomes one of considerations to formulate the punishments.
The aforementioned evidence reveals that while circumstance and motivational influence in the criminals are indicators to decide what kind of the punishment that the culprit will get, i firmly believe that the mental of the culprits ,nonetheless, have to be taken into account when deciding on the punishments. It is imperative for the judgement to be more wise to decide appropriate punishments for the culprits.
In this essay, I am dealing with Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammar. Please give me some feedback.
i will give you a thumb, if you comment on my writing with useful suggestion.
The question :
some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. others, however, argue that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the the punishment.
discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
In the last few decades, due largely to the considerable number of crimes, the crimes is becoming a debatable issue around the world. While some people believe that punishments for different crimes have to be repaired to be more justiciable, opponents contend that both circumstance of suspects and reasons why they commit crimes should be considered to make punishment. However, i would personally argue that mental personalities should not be disregarded as a consideration of deciding on the punishments.
To begin with, it is true that the punishments for each kind of crimes have to be upgraded inasmuch as every crime has different level of effect. The bigger effect is gained by culprits, the more punishments they will get. For example, a murderer will get 15 years for staying in a jail, whereas a pick pocket should live in the jail for less than 2 years. Thus, the punishments have to be decided by concerning what kinds of the crimes.
Motivation and circumstance of criminals encouraging to commit the crimes should be considered since many crimes for surviving people's live. Rio de jenairo, for instance, is an obvious example of trading dangerous drugs for constructing and maintaining schools and hospitals. Money earned by this illegal trade is addressed to be a fund to build any social charity. This indisputable fact underlines that the judgement of making the punishments must also concern about he motivation and circumstance of the culprits.
However, mental personality have to be a consideration of deciding punishments as some suspects do not realize that they have committed crimes. Take an example, Sumanto who has mental disorder has eaten a crop but he has merely gotten some mental treatments instead of being prisoned. For this case, i utterly argue that it is more wise if mental ability becomes one of considerations to formulate the punishments.
The aforementioned evidence reveals that while circumstance and motivational influence in the criminals are indicators to decide what kind of the punishment that the culprit will get, i firmly believe that the mental of the culprits ,nonetheless, have to be taken into account when deciding on the punishments. It is imperative for the judgement to be more wise to decide appropriate punishments for the culprits.
