Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Taking a gap year for going a vacation or getting a job is being part of teenager's lifestyle



RezaAnandatama17 8 / 13  
Aug 15, 2016   #1
Topic : In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


Taking a gap year for going a vacation or getting a job is being part of teenager's life style in several worldwide regions. It bringing a lot of meaningful experience is very valuable for them in order to improve their mentality. Nevertheless, the converse of such merits perhaps will appear to be true since this choice carries out some of demerits as well.

Becoming more independent is a positive impact on the top of the list. This is because the teenager will take care themselves and learn to do not rely on their parents any more. Eva Meizara Puspita Dewi, a well-known psychologist, reveals the mature comes to teenager if they start to believe themselves facing the world. Such belief will lead them to more independent. As result of this, let them take such opportunity becoming acceptable decision.

However, Life is not easy like the most of teenager's assumption. Stress of work can disturb their daily activities. CNN reports more than four out of ten youngers who are taking a job should get a medical care since they are not ready facing work life. Again, some of teenagers, in Netherlands, were becoming the victim of human traffic because of using up their money when going vacation. Hence, those problems should take into people's account before taking such opportunity.

In conclusion, Even though broadening teenager's horizon can be realized with taking a gap year, however a good preparation becomes vital since taking such decision can lead to horrible problem as well.

ZiadRasyid24 10 / 15  
Aug 15, 2016   #2
Hi Reza, Let me land you a hand, these are my correction:

1. Taking a gap year = maybe you can use an intermission for word enrichment
2. It bringingbrings/ acquires a lot of meaningful experience which is very valuable for them ...
3. learn to do notnot to rely on their parents any more
4. However, Life is not easyas easier as like the most of teenager's
5. Stress of work can disturbaffect their daily activities
6. however a good preparation becomes vital since taking such decision can lead to horrible problem as well . or it can be says a good preparation will help the teenager's in solving the problems that arise in the new environment.

Please recheck it again ... I hope it is helpful..
Fadhilahumar91 61 / 68  
Aug 17, 2016   #3
hi....

... that it is very valuable for them in order to improve their mentality

Nevertheless, the converse of such merits perhaps will appear to be true ...
Nevertheless, the converse of merits is true, because this choice give some loss.

This is because the teenager will take care ...

Eva Meizara Puspita Dewi, a well-knownas a psychologist, reveals that the mature comes tofrom teenager if they start ...

As result of thisFinally , let them take such opportunity ...
Again , some of teenagers, in Netherlands, were ...

- please, pay attention for your verb agreement
thank you


Home / Writing Feedback / Taking a gap year for going a vacation or getting a job is being part of teenager's lifestyle
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳