Writing task2: taxing industries as a good way to protect environment

taxation and pollution

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT INCREASING TAX ON VARIOUS INDUSTRIES WILL REDUCE POLLUTION, WHEREAS OTHERS BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE BETTER ALTERNATIVE WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Nowadays, many argue that increasing tax can be a good way to protect environment, while some alternative methods are thought to be better. In my opinion, taxation is the better solution than others due to its effectiveness.

The case for that there are still better ways is related to the growth of using green energy such as wind, water, solar. These renewable resources make quite impact on the industry especially production facilities so that they encourage the business to become a green industry. Tesla, for instance, with the government sponsorship tends to become an eco-friendly business. However, this is a limited solution when developed nations with high technological level have method of producing energy from these resources, but not for developing countries and others.

On the other hand, heavy taxing on the industries prevent enterprises from dumping waste into nature. This solution seems to make the companies change their product method from current practices to cleaner energy practices. In European Union, this approach is useful when enterprises are taxed at higher rates, which reduces how much carbon footprints come. Additionally, that industries are greener gain the support from government and public and also friendly environment.

In conclusion, taxation is an effective solution for current situation; moreover, both approaches can consider to be mixed together to become a greater way in the future. In addition to, environment should be a government priority along with the attention from residents.

The prompt restatement inaccurately represents the first version of the topic presentation. There are no arguments provided, merely differeing opinions. So the writer exaggerated the essence of the original topic. Nobody is arguing about the topic. Rather, there are 2 different opinions presented and these should have been reflected without exaggeration through the writer's interpretation. As for the writer's opinion, he clearly indicated the side that he supported, but forgot to give a short explanation as to why he supports that opinion. That would have increased the clarity of his opinion and the task accuracy score as well.

Using the comparative opinion discussion per paragraph would have helped the writer achieve better coherence and cohesiveness in his explanations. These would have both been considered properly and fully developed in terms of scoring had he chosen to do 2 things:

1. Explain the reasons why the public supports an opinion.
2. Give the reasons why he opposes / also supports the given opinion.

In the case of the opinion he supports, he could have added personal insight after the public explanation, using the correct first person pronouns to help him achieve a better score in terms of C+C considerations. In this case, the essay is under developed and a bit confusing the understand since there are no correct pronouns being used in the essay. The lack of pronouns makes it difficult to understand if the writer is explaining a public opinion or, if he presenting his personal views of the given topic. The lack of pronoun consideration could very well affect his GRA score negatively.

You seems to overlook the clarity of your points. In the second parapraph, "these renewable...green industry" => in which way renewable resources can impact upon the industry. The example following the viewpoint is also repeats the preoccupying idea thus it creates the same issue, how government encourages Tesla become more eco-friendly ? You should add more support for these views by saying something like "With the authorities providing incentives and imposing enlightened policies, businesses are able to generate more profit and relived of the budern of potential legal issues.

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