Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

My Teacher, the one who made an impact on me; Preparing for IELTS

vishal341in 1 / -  
Jan 6, 2013   #1
There are lot of people in your life, whom you admire and learn from them. But my english school teacher is the one who made an impact on me. She is the one who not only corrected my english spellings but also taught me the lessons of life, the difference between good and bad.

She is my guide, mentor and friend. While narrating the lessons she use to share real life examples so that as children we can relate it back and it's easier for us to remember. She use to say "Don't go for success go for excellence success will follow".

As a student, apart from English I do share my personal problems/issues with her. And she use to help me in analyzing the problem/situation and related pros and cons. And then asking me to choose the solution which I think is the best fit for the problem by rationalizing the problem.

She treat us like friends so that as a student we feel comfortable and share our thoughts. She taught us how to see both side of the coin before taking a decision, which is an important lesson of life.

When I was in School my english was weak and I use to do lot of grammatical errors. I was a slow learner too. She is the one who spends hours helping me in correcting for errors.

I owe all my success to my english teacher, without her guidance and perseverance it was impossible to become a person, the person I am today.

lilyraquel52 5 / 25 2  
Jan 6, 2013   #2
My advice and comments are below:
-write a catchy first sentence to grab the readers attention
-capitalize English
-I would give a better example of a an English teacher's job than "correcting English spellings"
-I like your use of examples
-after talking about how she helps you solve problems you could say how now you apply what she taught you to other problems and how youve learned from her and still take her advice today (to show how she has really impacted you and is still affecting you until today)

-maybe add how she is like a friend, but still professional
-I dont know if you have a limit but I would elaborate more on each one of your points
-simple conclusion, maybe add more?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 7, 2013   #3
I think you can write well. However, in this essay you only talk about the relationship you had with her and how she influenced you. These tasks generally follow certain structures. For this type of topic, you better introduce the character (briefly) to the reader first. Tell them about her demographics; how she looks, her traits etc. Then talk about your relationship. How she influenced you etc.

Home / Writing Feedback / My Teacher, the one who made an impact on me; Preparing for IELTS