It is not only the teacher who teach the student and student's ability is more important to study.

I disagree that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn.

Some people think that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. However I disagree with this opinion. Because, it is not only the teacher to teach the student and student's ability is more important to study.

First of all, there are some people to teach students beside the teacher. After school, parents usually teach and take care of their children. And in Korea, many students have many teachers such as school teachers, institution teachers and private teachers. And many times, students learn many things from books or internet without any teacher. When we consider these things, it is unfair to put the responsibility on the teacher.

Second, there is much difference in learning ability and interest among students. Some students are very smart and can learn faster than others. On the contrary, other students are not very smart. They need more time than other students. And also each student like different subject each other. So, even though some students have good grade on some subject, they could have bad grade on other subjects. So, it is hard to check how much the teacher impact on the student's studying.

To sum it up, I disagree that teachers are payed as much as there student's learn. Because besides the teacher, there are many other aspects to influence on studying.

The third sentence of the first paragraph is driving me nuts !
Because, it is not only the teacher to teach the student and student's ability is more important to study.
I know your English teachers told you not to start off the sentecnes with 'because', unless the sentence is a dependent sentence and supported with an independent sentence..!

The essay is good. It can use some better and stronger examples supporting your side though. And just to let you know, I agree with you all the way.

I have striked out errors to be removed and bolded corrections.

Some people think that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. However, I disagree with this opinion. Because, it is not only the teacher to teach the student and student's ability is more important to study.(revise this sentence to make it flow better, it's very confusing as it is now!)

First of all, there are some people to teach students besides the teacher. After school, parents usually teach and take care of their children. And in Korea, manya lot of students have many teachers such as school teachers, institution teachers and private teachers. And many times, students learn many things from books or the internet without any teacher. When we consider these things, it is unfair to put the responsibility on the teacher.

Second, there is much difference in learning ability and interest among students. Some students are very smart and can learn faster than others. On the contrary, other students are not very smart. They need more time than other students. And also each student like different subject each other. (this sentence needs to be revised as well)

So, even though some students have good grades on some subjects, they could have bad grades on other subjects. SoTherefore, it is hard to check how much of an impact the teacher hasimpact on the student's studying.

To sum it up, I disagree that teachers areshould be payed as much as theretheir(should be possessive) student's learn. Because besides the teacher, there are many other aspects to influence on studying.

Overall I think this is a very good essay. Reword some sentences and make a few corrections and it will be even better.

Hopefully this helps! Good luck. :)

Ha ha, there are cool, funny people in this thread.

You can do this, too:
However I disagree with this opinion, because the amount of learning is not only determined by the teacher's effort; the student's ability is more important than the teacher's methods.

Jung Wook Bai, do you have any questions about the corrections here? Please practice by typing the essay again, and try to use the corrections people gave you. Practice, practice!

:-)

thank you very much for your comment. It was my first experience to put my writing on internet. And I have just practiced writing by myself. I was suprised that some people really read my thread and put some comment. Thank you again.