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IELTS: TECHNOLOGY affects the way we interact with other people!


freakingout 1 / -  
Jan 10, 2014   #1
I need some help reviewing my essay, please do offer any suggestions/corrections :) I'm really terrified for my IELTS, been on a gap year and haven't written anything in 12 months. Any help is greatly appreciated! Thanks so much.

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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Advances in modern technology have definitely altered how people keep in touch with one another. Communication across countries is now fast, effective and private, as opposed to letters and telegrams that took long and could often be intercepted and read by a third party.

Because of the increased ease by which we now keep in touch with others, technology has strengthened relationships between people nowadays. Thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, we can update ourselves on what's happening in each other's lives at the push of a button. With Skype and phone calls, we can now physically see and hear someone in real time even if they are continents away. This instantaneous communication builds a sense of togetherness between people miles apart; even if it has been months since they last met, they don't necessarily feel like they have missed out on the going-ons of each other's lives.

Technology, especially the Internet, has also affected the way we form new relationships these days. It is now possible to know a person without actually having met. We can make friends online through social sites, chatrooms or message boards. The Internet is allowing us to form emotional bonds with people we've never encountered in real life. Online dating is an example of this, allowing one to connect and talk to people they've never met, interacting through chats, texts and video calls. Online schooling is another example: one can now receive information - an education, even - from someone they've never seen. Even when meeting someone in person, we ask them to add us on Facebook, or take down our number so that we can keep in touch later.

The developments in today's technology have undoubtedly brought the world closer together. Thanks to the Internet and telecommunications, one can remain a part of someone's life regardless of the distance between them.
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Jan 12, 2014   #2
Hi ,
It is always better to state your position / opinion to the examiner in the introduction and take him/ her with your supporting examples in rest of your essay.

Good luck.

Regards,
Arun
dumi 1 / 6,924 1592  
Jan 13, 2014   #3
Advances in modern technology have definitely altered how people keep in touch closely with one another.

Communication across countries is now fast, effective and private, as opposed to letters and telegrams that took long and could often be intercepted and read by a third party.

Communication across countries is now fast, effective and private, as opposed to the traditional communication methods such as letters or telegrams that took long and could often be intercepted and read by a third party.

It seems you have excellent writing skills. Improve your essay structure a bit more to go for a higher band at IELTS.


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