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IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - TECHNOLOGY (COMPUTERS)



douyin20102005 1 / -  
Oct 26, 2023   #1
Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?



Debate is rising amongst certain individuals about whether computers are the most crucial invention of the last hundred years or not. In this essay, I will give detailed rationales about why I hold the belief that this viewpoint is partially agreeable.

On the one hand, I partly adhere the the wisdom that computers play the most crucial role in the last century. Firstly, a myriad of troubles in their lives might undeniably emerge as a result of the lack of computers. For instance, without having an Internet-connected computer, a person may run into difficulties if they are forced to do tasks that are Internet-demanding. In addition, computers offer users with numerous benefits related to their jobs or study. Users can search for up-to-date information in lieu of going to companies to process documents. To cite a specific example, only when people possess their computers do they easily cope with accidental issues such as hitting deadlines, and negotiating with their counterparts without having to commute to their workplace. Therefore, the risk of encountering problems including traffic accidents might be mitigated as workers no longer have to travel to their workplaces.

On the other hand, from my perspective, computers are not considered the most pivotal gadgets as several disadvantages may undeniably emerge. The first reason is that lights from computer screens are extremely detrimental to people's eyes. Therefore, allocating a great deal of time to use computers might pose a serious threat to the eyes, and people can be afflicted with nearsightedness, which is exorbitant to cure. In addition, living a sedentary lifestyle with computers might lead to ailments related to the spinal cord. In the long run, individuals who contract those illnesses are not able to do domestic chores including vacuuming, washing, and repairing as these jobs are physically demanding.

To summarize, I strongly emphasize that computers played a vital role in the previous century; however, they are not the most dominant ones because of the above-mentioned reasons.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Oct 26, 2023   #2
Please keep your task 2 writing to a maximum of 300 words. This will help ensure that you meet the writing time allowance of 40 minutes. You do not need to write a long essay. You need to write a quality essay to pass this test. This is the test that will tell the examiner if you are capable of participating properly in an English based classroom where the focus of teaching is on essay writing, based on proper logic and reasoning in English.

As you can see, you already made a mistake in the way that you wrote your response to the essay, meaning you did not understand the task writing instructions. This is not an extent essay, yet your opinion was based on a measured response, extent presentation, that will result in an automatic failing score for your preliminary task achievement. You wrote a compare and contrast essay where a single personal opinion defense was required. This essay is not going to receive a passing score during the actual test. It is too problematic to get even close to the lowest possible passing score.
nghn_thyyannh 2 / 3  
Nov 4, 2023   #3
hi! i am not a professional but i just want to point out some of your mistakes in the essay.

"In this essay, I will give detailed rationales about why I hold the belief that this viewpoint is partially agreeable." you should change it into: Personally, I partly agree with this viewpoint due to two primary reasons. During the course of this essay, I will analyze and provide detailed rationales for this agreement. -> your viewpoint will be stated in a clearer way.

And as Holt said, your essay is falling into the compare-contrast essay, so you should clearly state that you agree or disagree instead of partially agree since your essay are likely to be off-topic. I think you should focus on the benefits of computers and lengthen your ideas into 2 paragraphs. Each para should have a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation, an example and finally a link back to the topic sentence

In your conclusion "To summarize, I strongly emphasize that computers played a vital role in the previous century; however, they are not the most dominant ones because of the above-mentioned reasons.", played should be play, the previous century should be the last decade.


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