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IELTS; Technology Vs Survival of Traditional Cultures - Are they incompatible?


Parsalove 2 / 2 1  
Jul 13, 2013   #1
IELTS:
It is inevitable that as technology develops so traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible - you cannot both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today's world nobody can deny the impact of technology on the culture. We are living in a world in which even the smallest aspect of our lives are affected by what technology has offered us. That's why I'm strongly of the opinion that technology and traditional cultures are to some extent incompatible.

Although in some exceptional circumstances there seems to be some level of compatibility between technology and traditional cultures as in Japan for instance, which has been successful in balancing the relationship between the two, there are many reasons that indeed prove the impacts of technology on every culture.

First, in the modern technology, doubtless physical games give themselves place to computer games. Definitely, recent surveys confirm that numbers of people because of the more variety and quality of this type of games that are attracting more and more.

Second, time is the new missing link for today's human. Essentially, you will not have enough time to maintain their religious and social values because of you have many necessary tasks to do that doesn't remain anytime for doing others.

Third, it is almost 40 years since Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase "global village" in his book The Gutenberg Galaxy. He argued that electronic technology was shrinking the planet, which "Time has ceased and space has vanished". Basically, internet led to disappear every real and traditional market by improving e-commerce.

Last, labor saving devices were created for reducing time for more productivity. Do you ever stop to think about the value of your extra time when your washing machine is cleaning your clothes instead of you standing over a tub of water for a few hours? Answer to this question helped human against traditional culture about tasks.

In short, certainly many reasons apply to technology a lot of different and essential effects on every society which you can't take your eyes off.

April April 13 / 148 22  
Jul 13, 2013   #2
even the smallest aspects of our lives are affected by what technology has offered us.

That's why I'm strongly of the opinion that technology and traditional cultures are to some extent incompatible.

Whenever you use a period "." and then start the next sentence in a new line, it means you've started a new paragraph (your essay currently has 7 paragraphs). When you start a new paragraph, a new idea is conveyed, and you must explain it thoroughly. You have great ideas, but don't just list 3 or 4 reasons supporting your point of view and explain each with only 1 sentence. In an IELTS essay, you ususally need 2 main points, but you have to support your ideas and convince the readers. Find and read some IELTS essay samples on the Internet to get what you should put in your IELTS writing.

Best
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jul 14, 2013   #3
....good introduction :)

Although in some exceptional circumstances there seems to be some level of compatibility between technology and traditional cultures as in Japan for instance

.... well, this should have been in the introduction as this is to support your middle stand on the argument. However, you should not have so much details in the intro and tell everything very briefly.

When you start a new paragraph, a new idea is conveyed, and you must explain it thoroughly.

This is how you should go!
Also, you write very well :)
OP Parsalove 2 / 2 1  
Jul 18, 2013   #4
Thank you for your great and helpful suggestions
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 18, 2013   #5
We are living in a world in which even the smallest aspect of our lives are affected by what technology has offered us .

I think you should first pay attention to the essay structure. This is the one that I generally recommend to those who prepare for IELTS and TOEFL. I guess you too prepare for one of them.
fred123 6 / 8 2  
Jul 20, 2013   #6
Although in some exceptional circumstances there seems to be some levels of compatibility

Basically, internet have led to disappearanceof every real and traditional market by improving e-commerce.


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