Unanswered [4]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS-should teenagers learn all school subjects/focus on one subject



kikotan 1 / 1  
Feb 20, 2011   #1
Some people believe that teenagers should learn all school subjects, while others claim that students should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they are interested in. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Presently, it is commonly accepted that students have to learn over eight subjects in school. Public retain differing views on whether to teach students all subjects or just focus on one subject. Some parents are satisfied with the full class schedule of their children. While, others claim that studying only one subject is more effective. Before rendering my own opinion, I will explore sides of this topic.

The benefits of teaching students different units are easily recognized. In the first place, with some basic knowledge of diverse fields, students have more options in choosing specialized areas or jobs in the future. Teenagers are still too young and immature to decide what they are going to dedicate. In students' point of view, the combination of difficult and easy subjects balances their schoolwork stress and fosters their enthusiasm on classes. However, still many teenagers cannot enjoy the variation of the curriculum, instead, they feel more stressful with so much homework and exams to be done. Besides, most students regard the extra knowledge useless and impractical for their future jobs.

Those who advocate focusing on one subject believe that this education model can cultivate more talents who specialized in different areas and increase studying effectiveness. This is probably because students can devote more time and efforts in one subject and reduce pressure from other subjects. However, the drawbacks of this teaching method cannot be neglected. Most importantly, under such target-oriented education environment, teenagers may be hard to regret their original choice and change their specialized field in their further study. Moreover, the dullness of course may deeply influence their passion on study.

It is undeniable that concentrating on one subject can reduce students' pressure and foster the effectiveness in training talents, while its shortfalls are so vital to students' future. Therefore, I do support the view of learning all school subjects.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 20, 2011   #2
Presently, it is commonly accepted that students have to learn over eight subjects in school. Public retain differing views on whether to teach students all subjects or just focus on one subject. Some parents are satisfied with the full class schedule of their children. While, others claim that studying only one subject is more effective. Before rendering my own opinion, I will explore sides of this topic.

------ in the part in bold you are repeating the same idea over and over again. I suggest;
Students generally learn over eight subjects during their primary and secondary education levels. However people hold different views about this concept and argue that studying the subjects of one's interests is more effective in contrast to learning all subjects . Before coming to any conclusion about the view that I should hold regarding this matter, I wish to explore the pros and cons of both arguments;

The benefits of teaching students different unitssubjectsarecan be easily recognized. In the first place, with some basic knowledge of diverse fields, students would have a better insight and knowledgemore options in choosingto choose specialized areas or jobs in the futurethey intend to pursue after high school which would ensure them a successful futurebecause tT eenagers are still too young and immature and therefore could be carried away when decidingto decide what fields that they are going to dedicateshould pursue in their tertiary education . InSome students point of viewthink that the combination of difficult and easy subjects balances their schoolwork stress and fosters their enthusiasm onin classesrooms . However, still many teenagers cannot enjoy the variation of the curriculum, instead, they feel more stressful with so much homework and exams to be done. Besides, most students regard the extra knowledge is useless and impractical for their future jobs.

you have good ideas. You write well. Good luck!!
OP kikotan 1 / 1  
Feb 21, 2011   #3
dumi, Thx for your help! It is very useful
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 27, 2011   #4
Yep, Dumi is great. Hey, do you have questions about the corrections? Are you able to type the essay again and use the suggestions that you want to follow?

Please type it again to practice, and we will see if you still have errors.

I like dumi's suggestion for the beginning, and here is an idea about the end:
It is undeniable that concentrating on one subject can reduce students' pressure and develop talents, but its shortfalls pertain to the substance of the student's education. A narrow focus limits one's perspective.

the effectiveness in training talents , Therefore, I do support the view of learning all school subjects.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-should teenagers learn all school subjects/focus on one subject
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳