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Teenagers are needed to involve voluntarily into certain community



Pramudia27 34 / 52  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Teenagers are needed to involve certain community. In my view, working people for developing certain grub should be paid by rational salary owing to the fact that they have spent much time and thinking for it.

First of all, in this era people have the highest needs that should be fulfilled, and working is one of ways to achieve it. moreover, when youths work for certain community, they should be paid in as much as they have spent much time and thinking for it. if their efforts are calculated, they will get much money from it when they work in company. furthermore, this money can help them to fulfil their needs. In which, money can make people to be more spirit to do their job and achieve the target.

On the other hand, developing community cannot be achieved by ordinary effort. It need money and expert teenagers. Money make this community easy to prepare their equipment that is needed to develop their grub. Moreover, developing community needs big thinking from influences people who should be paid by higher tax than other people. Regarding to Syukron from Nancy University that say money become basic perspective for developing something in this world because everything need money, and without money, people cannot do anything.

All in all, everything needs money and to develop certain community, people should be paid for it because each people has needs that should be fulfilled. Moreover, the effort of certain people should be appreciate by giving salary.

Beauty17 56 / 79  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Teenagers are needed to involve IN certaincommunitycommunities .
... people for developing certaingrubgroups should be paid by ...

First of all, in this era, (punctuation) people have (...) to achieve it. moreover Moreover, when youths work for certain community communities, they should ...

1. Certain must be followed by plural noun and based on oxford dictionary, community is countable. So, you should use communities

Good luck!
ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
Hi Pram! i will give you some suggestions towards your essay

In my view, working peoplePeople who workfor developing certain grubgroup should be ...

First of all, in this era, (need comma) people have the highest needsrequirements that should be fulfilled
avoid repetition

they should be paid in as much as they have spent much time and thinking for it.
repetitive sentence. you can paraphrase this sentence
because of their ability to develop the companies' system, they should obtain the logical salary

It needneeds money and expert teenagers.

Money makemakes this community ...
pay attention to subject verb agreement

... people should be appreciateappreciated by giving salary.


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