SOME COUNTRIES ENCOURAGE TEENAGERS TO HAVE A PART-TIME JOB AND SEE IT AS A GOOD THING WHILE OTHERS DISAGREE. GIVE YOUR OPINION AND EXPLAIN BOTH VIEWS.
Many countries around the world stimulate adolescents to work in a part-time job because it is beneficial in many aspects. However, others think it is not necessary. In my view, I am neutral with both points of views and I will discuss more in this essay.
On the one hand, myriads of people think that having a part-time job will restrain the efficient of the study in school. In fact, working will obviously take a lot of time, endurance and joy which will make the students exhausted and they will not have the opportunity to perform well in school. Furthermore, working maybe also creates pressures for the workers, which leads to stress, depression, and even sadness. Consequently, having a part-time job is not a suitable option for the students and they should spend their time enhancing their study.
On the other hand, some of the groups think that a part-time job is really crucial for teenagers to have. First of all, a full or part-time job is not only provide salary, but experiences are actually the most valuable reward. In fact, studying is just a foundation to step forward to real life, but those priceless experiences are must-have if people want to succeed. For instance, learning those mathematically complicated formulas or those lengthy poems or even remember those events in the history is hardly open the gate of success. Knowing easy formulas like adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing is essential, or maybe just little skills in communicating are enough for the foundation.
In my opinion, both views are all needed for teenagers to manipulate into their life. However, I personally think that the way how people balance two activities is the most important factor. I mean they have to work in a part-time job and still study well at the same time which means they will also have the foundation and a little bit of the experiences. As a result, they could go far on their future.
To recapitulate, having a part-time job could be a bright side or a dark side depend on how people arrange it at the right time which means it does not cost a lot of time, power, and do not create much pressure and stress.
(I'm sorry, the conclusion is quite not good I know :), can somebody fix it :( and make it better :) ! )
... to work
in a part-time job ...
... and joy
which so it will make ... well in at school.
for on the workers, ... stress, depression, and even sadness (sadness<depression).
... part-time job
is does not only provide salary, but also experiences which are ... rewards.
... forward to the real life, ...
... learning those mathematical
ly complicated ...or even remember those events in the history is hardly open ...
I mean (you're writing, not speaking) they have to work
in a part-time ...
To recapitulate, whether having ... could
be a have bright side or a dark side ... arrange it at the right time which means it does not ..., and do does not create ...
- Full of mistakes from grammar to vocab
- You translated word by word from Vietnamese into English, didn't you?
- It's an essay, not a speech.
You should study hard and practice frequently.
Have a good day!
If "!!!" means "I'm angry", I'm so sorry. I'm studying to take Ielts exam and I frequently receive those kinds of feedback.