Teenagers spend a lot of time watching Tiktok. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Tiktok evaluation

In recent years, Tiktok has become a viral social media application that attracts many people to use, especially adolescents. While this trend would create considerable benefits, there will be certain drawbacks that need to be considered.

On the one hand, young people can have a relaxing time and learn much from Tiktok without consuming much time. This platform allows users to watch short and funny videos from many places in the world with various content, which helps them relieve stress and pressure from their studying. Furthermore, there are many channels for education or soft skills that young people can benefit from. Another advantage that Tiktok brings to users is making income from this popular application. Specifically, the youth can earn money from the content they create on Tiktok, which is a great way to help them become financially independent and offer them an opportunity to become potential content creators.

On the other hand, watching Tiktok uncontrollably affects adolescents' behavior. Due to different content from Tiktok, users may watch certain offensive and unsuitable ones. As a result, they can imitate the way people act on Tiktok wrongly, such as cyberbullying their friends or behaving toward their parents inappropriately. Moreover, as other social media applications, spending much time watching Tiktok has a negative impact on adolescents' health. They might strain their eyes in front of the phone's screen for hours and become inactive in physical activities. Thus, this may cause many related diseases such as obesity or near-sightedness.

In conclusion, although there are certain downsides along with the upsides of this trend, young people should be encouraged to manage their time spent on using Tiktok to take the greatest advantage of this social media application.

The examiner may not consider this essay as properly developed and discussed as the advantage and disadvantage paragraphs were not cohesively developed. As the writer knows, part of the scoring rubic is the cohesiveness and coherence of the paragraph. When discussing an A v. D prompt, this means that the 2 paragraphs need to connect based on previously stated reasons.

Each paragraph should clearly explain first, why an opinion is an advantage then second, why it is actually a disadvantage. The prompt requires proper subject and analysis development in order to score based on advanced writing skills. The current presentation will receive a passing score, but cannot score based on advanced considerations due to the lack of connection between the topic presentations. While the analysis is acceptable, it is not fully and properly developed based on full scoring considerations.

The writer also misuses the apostrophe in the presentation. This seems to be a common error among ESL students. They misplace the apostrophe, creating an ownership format when he was trying to indicate a plural word form. It will help if the student continues to improve his grammar rules knowledge to avoid deductions in that scoring section.

Further problems occurred in the score because the summary conclusion offers a solution suggestion. This is not a required part of the discussion and will result in a severe TA score deduction. The essay could potentially be given a failing score since the essay is now seen as not having a properly formatted concluding statement. Saying "In conclusion" without actually concluding the essay in the required format does not create an acceptable and scorable conclusion.