Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Essay: television influence on people's behaviour. The effect is negligible.



OzRamsay 4 / 4  
Nov 2, 2017   #1
Hi, everyone! As a non-native speaker, I would very appreciate any messages about my grammar mistakes. Thank you for reading!

how movies or television affect people?



In the following essay, I would like to express my opinion in regard to the question how movies or television affect people's behaviour. There is a tidal wave of concerns about negative charge which is carried by television programmes and movies. Some people believe that instead of providing young generation with socially accepted images of prominent figures and authorities and foster teenagers, television conversely corrupts moral of its spectators.

According to this view, producers and directors of TV production are socially responsible for the content of their programmes. According to statistics, an average teenager spends up to 4 hours a day watching TV. The ubiquitousness of personal computers and the internet has only worsened the situation, as nowadays spectators have access to billions of movies. Moreover, some movies deliberately break the rules of moralities and widely accepted social conventions in the attempt to gather attention and attract a shocked spectator by the taste novelty. There are some cartoons such as "The Simpsons" and "Family Guy" which constantly and intentionally satirizes the core values of our society. No wonder that the rising generation which for years has been exposed to images of lazy and careless father Homer Simpson and his naughty and mischievous child Bart Simpson (from 'The Simpsons' cartoon) can pick up their mindset and thought patterns.

However, it is well worth noticing that this point of view does not take the following reasoning into account. Television programmes and movies do not have to directly teach their viewers some moral laws and obligation, not least because in that TV production would morph into lifeless and tedious notations instead of entertainment. However, they indeed can mirror the society and reflect its moral flaws and misdeeds to spectators. Such reflections, for example, made in mentioned above cartoons, can make the viewer think about moral dilemmas much more efficiently than straight notations.

To conclude, I believe that influence of television programmes and movies on people behaviour is negligible and people can not justify their misdeeds by the negative influence of TV.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Nov 3, 2017   #2
Ainur, dial it back a bit. Are you writing a practice essay for TOEFL or are you just writing for the practice of it. You should have told us what this essay is meant for. That way I would know how to properly assess your essay. Different essay requirements require different analysis. A TOEFL essay is different from IELTS, which is different from a research paper, which is different from a narrative essay, and the list goes on and on. So right now, I am blind, so to speak, when it comes to assessing your current work.

It is highly informative and really delivers some pretty interesting points of view coming out of your end. However, I sense that some information comes from quoted text, which means it should have in-text citations in the presentation otherwise it will be considered plagiarism on the part of the writer. This is a solid essay but I am not sure if it in the proper format that it was developed for. I suggest that the next time you write an extended essay such as this, that you provide us with definite instructions so we can review your essay on a better scale. I need to know the exam type and the prompt included for English tests or the assignment instructions for research papers and academic class essays.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay: television influence on people's behaviour. The effect is negligible.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳