In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF GIVING CHILDREN THIS MESSAGE?
In many traditions, young descendants are instilled an idea that if they do their best, nothing is impossible. In my opinion, despite the empowerment given by this message, children are going to lead a miserable life if completely occupied by this philosophy.
The argument against the shortcoming of this message is that children are emboldened by their cultures to accomplish every goal. Without the encouragement from the parents, the older people such as grandparents, the communities as a whole, children will consider themselves as loners, living with no purposes, and might end up becoming criminals. Being mentally supported by others, with such idea as the harder they work, the more they succeed in life, will energize children to push through hard times of studying, working or competing and finally, for instance, pull off straight As, performance bonuses, promotions or grand medals.
Nonetheless, as the message does not limit the achievements to be only those moral, legal and contributing to society, it can be detrimental for lives of the young-aged. For example, students can burn out while cramping for exams because they believe if they work harder, they will get better score. When they grow up, under the pressure of earning as much money as possible to make ends meet, they will resort to any devious means to get what they want. Some extremists even commit crimes, especially juveniles, while still justifying their actions by this half-hearted thinking.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that children needs reinforcements from the grownups to get themselves down to work before winning in their lives. However, children should also be advised that mere hard work can not guarantee them to achieve everything and successes should be anything healthful for them and helpful for society.
286 words.
Could you comment and grade this essay please? Thanks!
WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF GIVING CHILDREN THIS MESSAGE?
In many traditions, young descendants are instilled an idea that if they do their best, nothing is impossible. In my opinion, despite the empowerment given by this message, children are going to lead a miserable life if completely occupied by this philosophy.
The argument against the shortcoming of this message is that children are emboldened by their cultures to accomplish every goal. Without the encouragement from the parents, the older people such as grandparents, the communities as a whole, children will consider themselves as loners, living with no purposes, and might end up becoming criminals. Being mentally supported by others, with such idea as the harder they work, the more they succeed in life, will energize children to push through hard times of studying, working or competing and finally, for instance, pull off straight As, performance bonuses, promotions or grand medals.
Nonetheless, as the message does not limit the achievements to be only those moral, legal and contributing to society, it can be detrimental for lives of the young-aged. For example, students can burn out while cramping for exams because they believe if they work harder, they will get better score. When they grow up, under the pressure of earning as much money as possible to make ends meet, they will resort to any devious means to get what they want. Some extremists even commit crimes, especially juveniles, while still justifying their actions by this half-hearted thinking.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that children needs reinforcements from the grownups to get themselves down to work before winning in their lives. However, children should also be advised that mere hard work can not guarantee them to achieve everything and successes should be anything healthful for them and helpful for society.
286 words.
Could you comment and grade this essay please? Thanks!