Ielts writing test 1 - map of a museum topic

The map shows the changes in a museum between 1998 and 2008.

Overall, it can be seen that there are more recreational options for visiters and the garden has been used for some another purposes.
In the center of the museum has a few changes, a part of the garden is served as siting area for the coffee shop nearby and there are some fountains are planted. To the north of the green area , the cafe is reduced in size and a toilet are built next to it. To the west, most rooms are used as permanent exhibition rooms. A new restaurant is located on the east-north edge of the museum. The shop and bags and clothing stalls are being built on the other side of the tickets entrance which still remains unchanged. The temporary display room now is more bigger and relocated to the east of the garden.

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  map.png
  
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  map2.png
  

This sort of presentation is the type that would automatically get a failing score. The failure of the essay shall be based on specific reasons:

1. Lack of word count (138/150). The minimum word requirement or more must be met at all times.
2. Incorrect paragraph formatting. The essay did not present a summary overview. It went directly to the trending sentence. The minimum 3 paragraph summary + analysis paragraphs format are not present in the report.

The writer made the most minimal of efforts to analyze the image. It was a half-hearted attempt at completing the task. Even if the student is self-studying, he surely has made efforts to review the sample presentations online. He should at least be familiar with the most basic of the task 1 presentation formats basedon the freely available samples online.

Before writing an essay, make sure that you plan your format. make sure that your format consists of an introduction, body, and closing. Make sure that you ae using the right panctuations.

Before writing your eassy ,make sure you know the format . Format is the most crucial part in eassy writing
introduction
overview
body paragraph 1
body paragraph 2

You should divide your essay into different parts and your work is missing the introduction. I also see that you have make a mistake on the word "rooms". I believe your purpose is that it is synonym with "place". However, I checked on the dictionary and it said it is an uncountable noun. Therefore, it could make readers misunderstand your intention