In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.
What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Please give me your opinion and IELTS band score about this essay. Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nowadays, many people choose to live in the area where they were born. Besides, a large number of family decided to move into the city to live. As a result, the way of life in the countryside is changing fastly.
There are many benefits about living in a small community. First, people in the countryside know each other and understand each other, they always help people in bad condition. They are also seem to be friendlier than people in the city. Second, people who are lving in the countryside and a small community can teach their child more effectively than those in the city becaure they can receive true reviews from the neighbours about how to teach their child. Moreover, It it is much safer for children in the small community because there are less crimes there and they can avoid playing and studying bad behaviours from bad children.
However, there are still many drawbacks about living in a small community. First reason, the hospital is often far from their village so it is very dangerous in some emergency problems, if the people have accident can not be driven to the hospital fast enough, trey will die extremely soon. Second, the school for children in many villages is far from their house. Many children need to walk a long way to their school on the mountain, . . . . (about 2-3 kilometers) and very dangerous, especially in the bad weather. In some area, many some pepple can not approach the modern education because it is is very expensive, so they need to work in agriculture, plant trees, etc. to earn for their living
All in all, I think it such a pity for people who can't have a modem life. However, I am also think it is fortunate for people live in small community because there are many problems existed in the city, so it may go be better to live in the countryside.
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4783 The essay would get an automatic failing score for 2 reasons:
1. Incorrect topic restatement
2. Missing reverse summary
When you are asked to create a prompt restatement, that means you are to explain the information you were provided without altering the information or topic. If you notice, you did not accurately reference the original prompt because you established the discussion topic based on irrelevant reasons. You can only use the reasons you were given in the original. Use your own understanding, without altering the basis. You made a general discussion based on personal reasons. Note that you did not establish the same discussion points as the original. That is where you will get a failing TA score due to inaccurate representation.
The conclusion you provided a personal insight to the discussion rather than summarizing the discussion presentation a 2nd time as required. At this point, the essay will be seen as open ended rather than concluded, which means your TA score will receive more deductions.
Your introduction is irrelevant to the topic - you are supposed to paraphase the topic in your own words, not to cue any unrelated statements. Avoid using "Nowadays" and "All in all", since they are not formal and unprofessional. Your theses are poorly supported and not convincing enough. There are many grammar and spelling mistakes, so make sure you proofread your essay next time. Never use abbreviation like "can't" or "etc" in a academic writing test.
