Do you think in mordern society, wearing formally is still important?

People nowadays are concerned more about the clothes they wear. Some people enjoy wearing formally, while others like to wear the casual clothes. Personally, I think that wearing politely is still critical in our recent society because wearing formally can create a good image of you in front of other people and wearing politely is a way to show the respect to the opposite people.

First of all, wearing formally create a better image of you. When you wear some formal clothes such as suits, traditional Vietnamese dress, people in front of you will think that you can be trusted and you are a reliable person. For example, when I went to an interview to apply for an engineer job, I wore a formal suit; the interviewers looked at me and nod his head. I knew that I have created a reliable image and it was easier for me to communicate with him during the interview. Your image will depend on the clothes you choose.

In addition, wearing politely is a way to show respect to the opposite people. Imagine that when you meet your costumer in business, your wear a T-shirt and shorts, it is not acceptable. Meeting an important, special costumer, people should wear a shirt or a suit. These clothes show that you want to meet them and you are appreciating for the coming of them. This is the first step to make impression on the people. As I recall, my brother has told me a story about his own experience. At the first time he met his costumers, he wore shirt and jeans, the casual clothes of a teenager. As the result, he could not sign the agreement and he realized that his first impression is really bad because of the clothes. He told me that it is very important to wear formally.

To sum up, wearing formally is still important in the society because it creates a better image of you in front of people and shows the respect of you on them.

Used phrase 'wearing formally' many times. Try to phrase it with different words in paragraphs so that reader won't feel the repetition of points.

In phrase 'wearing politely', politely is not going with word wearing. Instead, you can use phrase like 'attires/dresses according to the occasion'.
All paragraphs are rephrasing the same point that 'first impression is the last impression'.Try to put more points in it and make each point a distinct paragraph.

*You can write about the cultural aspect. Some cultures allow casual wear, some culture are more strict about the dress.
*You can discuss about the types of jobs. Show the contrast between employee work in Hawaiian or Chinese restaurant and the executives of technology company.

*You can also argue that modern society does not mean that we have to dress formally

First, you should have included the essay prompt in your post. Then we know exactly what it expects from you. Also I understand you are preparing for TOEFL (you have mentioned that in one of your other essays). Do mention this purpose in every title because that helps you draw others' attention. :)


...Need a little re-arrangement of the words;
Nowadays, people are more concerned about what they wear.



... "wearing casually" makes sense, but not "politely". Also, this sentence is a bit confusing, especially the latter part of it. Write a simple sentence that expresses your opinion;

Personally, I think it is important that people wear formal dresses.

Thank you so much. Hope you help me in the next essay, especially the writing for Toefl ibt.