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Do you think that studying abroad is advantages ?


heram 1 / 2  
Mar 18, 2014   #1
Topic: The idea of going overseas for univ study is an exciting prospect for many people. but while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay at home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a diffferent cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement

In some developing countries, where the standard of education is not high and the education system lack of supporting facilities, students usually prefer to study abroad for better future. As the consequence, students will face some difficulties by living in another country. However, the fear of studying abroad should not be an obstacle for everyone to pursue their dreams. Indeed it offers many advantages for a better life.

Going overseas and living alone in foreign country offer a great experience and opportunity for self-development. Self-development means taking personal responsibility to develop a good behaviour, self control, and also the way of think. As students meet many new people and adjust ourselves to different custom, their way of think will be changed. By sharing stories and experiences with new friends about life and culture, or sharing opinion to solve problem in study case inside the class, students will learn and see different point of views. They become open-minded. Self-control and responsibility are learnt by living far away from family. It teaches them to rely on nobody but themselves. Thus, it will motivate themselves to be more independent, responsible and confident in taking a decision. A good self-control will lead students to a success of achievement. For instance, many students experience failure of study because of losing self control by hanging out too much with friends so they cannot manage time for studying. Self development will bring them to have better personal skills that are required in workplace later.

Living abroad also provide a good opportunity to learn new language. For some people, the best way to learn new language is by living surrounded by and communicating with native speakers in daily life. As all we know that we live in globalization era nowadays, thus having more than one language skills will be an advantage for someone`s career.

Moreover, foreign degree always enhances someone`s credentials in some developing countries.It opens an opportunity for employment. The assumption that foreign graduates have higher quality and skills rather than local graduates also influences the salary and benefit offer. For instance, in Jakarta, Indonesia capital city, foreign graduates are paid with higher salary than Indonesian`s graduates. In addition, they usually can enter middle-level management even though they lack of experience.

To conclude, the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages. The benefits for our future that it can offer are much greater than many of us could imagine. It increases our self-quality and also skills that can open the way of opportunity for job recruitment. Therefore, studying in foreign country should be contemplated as a good educational plan for students. (434 words)

Please give me correction and advice if my essay can be qualified for IELTS with band score 6.5 or 88 in TOEFL IBT. Thank you very much.

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 18, 2014   #2
In some developing countries, where the standard of education is not high and the education system lacksofsupporting facilities, students usually prefer to study abroad forin view of receiving a better education and thereby a better future. As the consequence, studentsthey also will face some difficulties by living in another country.

Well, this is not common only in developing countries. Even for the students in developed countries, there are many instances that they choose to study in foreign countries due to their preferences in particular academic courses, colleges etc. So, I feel you should have not had the qualification of developing countries for this theme. Always try to preserve the original sense of the topic.

However, you write very well :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 19, 2014   #3
I guess you have written this essay for preparing yourself for TOEFL or IELTS. It is always good to include the purpose in your title for us to provide you with more task related comments. However, if you have written this essay for one of these tasks, I think you have to improve on the structure.
OP heram 1 / 2  
Mar 19, 2014   #4
Pahan & Dumi : Thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it.yes, I wrote this essay for practicing because i need to take toefl test and get the score minimum 88. I will try to improve on my essay's structure. anyway, can I still share my another essay to be corrected? should I open new thread or post it in this thread? thank you.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 19, 2014   #5
hanging out too much with friends so they cannot manage time for studying

it is me :)
You write well. I like this essay.

my essay can be qualified for IELTS with band score 6.5

Ok. We talk about this exam.
Were I you, perhaps I'd start analyzing this prompt in order to earn a good score for Task response, like this:
Fact: The idea of going overseas for univ study is an exciting prospect for many people.
Opinions: but while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay at home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a diffferent cultures.

Task: To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement

A closer look at the task: To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement...
For me, if you are offered such task, then you are asked to take a position, which is neither in total agreement nor total disagreement, but somewhere in between. Then, you should explain why.

If you peruse the IELTS band descriptors for "Task Responses" ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf then you'll see this: "addresses the task only partially", which means the question is not fully answered. Hence, you'd better spend lil time to analyze the question, so you could avoid giving a partial answer for the task.

Hope this help you :D


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