Three different types of water consuming. IELTS WRITING TASK from Cambridge 11 book

Hello, I need an evaluation of this writing essay
Thanks in advance

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Industrial, agricultural and domestic water usage

The charts shown ilustrate the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. As the charts are showing three different types of water consuming- Industrial use, agricultural use. and Domestic use.

The industrial use of water is quite high in both North America and Europe areas, with 48 percent and 53 percent respectivily, while the rest of the regions(areas) use less water for the industrial field.

On the other hand, Central Asia, Africa, South East Asia, and South America are consuming water mostly on the agricultural field, with percentage above 71 from the total usage of water.

However, for the Domestic use, we can see that in all the areas the usage is less than 20 percent with South America leading the domestic use of 19 percent, and the least percentage was for both South East Asia and Central Asia of 7 percent only.

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Abdul, your essay does not meet the required minimum word count of 150 words. You only wrote 149. Being short of the word count will have an adverse effect on your final scoring considerations There will be a mark down in every aspect related to the word count such as the Task Accuracy and Grammar Range. I strongly advice you to try and write a minimum of 3 sentences in every paragraph in order to at least be assured of meeting the minimum 150 word count for the Task 1 essay. Writing in the 3 sentence format also allows you to better develop your sentences from simple to slightly more complex. Even a slight improvement in your word presentation on the complex side will help to increase your lexical resource and GRA scores.

Your overview outline is incomplete as it does not accurately outline the types of comparisons to be done in terms of the countries you will be evaluating. A complete overview summary always notes the important aspects for discussion and mentions it as part of the outline of the upcoming paragraphs. It is important that you also work harder on the analysis aspect of the images. Try to find some not so obvious information in the charts, as I saw a few, and present those as well.

This is not a bad first attempt. However, you should show improvement in your next essay otherwise you may risk not being ready to take the test by the exam date. We will be here to assist you in your improvement. Keep practicing. We will help you get ready for the test.