Three kind of citizen problems who stay at the foreign country based on age in percent

Writing Task 1 UNIT 1C PAGE 14
THE CHART BELOW SHOWS INFORMATION ABOUT THE PROBLEM PEOPLE HAVE WHEN THEY GO TO LIVE IN OTHERS COUNTRIES.
SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION BY SELECTING AND REPORTING THE MAIN FEATURES,AND MAKE COMPARISONS WHERE RELEVANT.

The chart shows about three kind of problems for citizen who stay at the foreign country based on age in percent. Overall, it can be seen that people in the middle age have the highest percentage of all of kind of arrangement issues than other ages. Besides, finding school for youngster is the lowest for all population.

The first problem is how to economic plan is the second most problem for all inhabitants. Adults at 18-34 years old have it at under 35 percent. The percentage for middle aged people in 35-54 at is above 35 percent and for oldest people is just under 30 percent for this issue.

The greatest problem for all people who stay at new country is how to healthy plan. For people 35-54-years-old, this is a biggest problem at above 35 percent than other aged people. For adults have the problem at under 30 percent and for people over in 55 years old have the problem at above 35 percent. For the last problem is finding schools for young. For old people at 55 years old have the less percentage at above 5 percent than the other people. The percentage young have the problem for find schools at above 5 percent and for old people have problem at under 20 percent.

hello willy,,
previously, you should attach your picture owing to the fact that other people do not know about your mean.

... on age in percent.
The first problem is how to economic plan is the second ...[meybe, you should make it clearly==> it difficult to be understood] A
... have it at under 35 percent. T
... at is above 35 percent and forthe oldest people is just under 30 percent for this issue.
... this is athe biggest problem at above 35 percent than ...
... at under 30 percent and (...) at above 35 percent .
... percentage at above 5 percent than
... at under 20 percent.

percent==> you have mentioned it in introductory paragraph, so you do not need mention again.

Hello Willy :) Let me give you some corrections :)

Okay Miss Willy, better if next time you should attach your chart :)

The chart shows about three kind of citizen problems for citizen who stay at the foreign country<em>abroad[/i] based on agein percent . Overall, it can be seen thatthe<em>[/i] people in the middle age have the highest percentage of all of kind of arrangement issues than other ages. Besides, finding school for youngster is the lowest for all populationage periods.

The first problem is how to economic plan is the second most problem for all inhabitants. youngadults at 18-34 years old have it at under 35 percent. The percentage for middle aged people in 35-54 at is above 35 percent and for oldest people is just under 30 percent for this issue.

(The greatest problem for all people who stay at new country is how to healthy plan. For people 35-54-years-old with ages range between 35 and 54 years old[/b] , this is a biggest problem at above 35 percent than other aged people. For adults have the problem at under 30 percent and for people over in 55 years old have the problem at above 35 percent. For the last problem is finding schools for young. For old people at 55 years old have the less percentage at above 5 percent than the other people. The percentage young have the problem for find schools at above 5 percent and for old people have problem at under 20 percent.) > I think your last paragraph still not clear especially in your comparison sentences. Keep practices it :) GOOD LUCK :)

Hello Willy, i will give you some suggestions:
1. Be careful preposition using

... the highest percentage offor all of kind of ...

The first problemis how to economic plan (...) for all inhabitants may be you can say like this " the first problem is how to economic plan which to be second most problem for all inhabitants".

2. To be (is , am, are) using

... problem for find schools "is " above 5 percent (...) have problem"is" under 20 percent..

Hi Willy,

The chart (make it more specific : bar, line, or pie chart) shows about three kind ...
... second most problem for all inhabitants(i don't get the meaning of this sentence) .

... all people who stay at a new country is how tohave a healthy plan.
... this is athe(superlative) biggest problem at ...
For adults have the problem at under 30 percent (what problem) and for people ...

- For overview, it is better not to explain the least percentage. you can put it in the body paragraph.
- i think you fail to explain the details since it is unclear what the problem are and which group of people who experience the problem.

- don't explain all the details one by one, do grouping will help you to describe the graph well.
Hopefully it helps.