[task1] Three possible sites for a new hypermarket, which will be built in the city of Pellington

The map below shows three proposed sites for a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

hypermarket location proposition

The map given illustrates where a new hypermarket will be built in the city of Pellington. Three sites, A, B and C, have been brought forward for consideration. There difference will be summarized in this essay by making appropriate comparisons.

Prior to a closer examination of each proposal, I will provide readers a panorama of the city with a population of 120,000. From the south a railway meanders west to Hampford 15 kilometers away, where 30,000 people live. It cuts through a large stretch of residential area, at the heart of which lie a traffic-free zone and an adjacent park. In the east there is a motorway that runs north, separating the residential area and the countryside.

A is sited just west of the pedestrian zone, abutting the railway. Its position is favorable to residents, who can take a ride on train to do shopping, and even more so for people strolling around in the zone or the park, as they can walk here with ease to relish a dazzling collection of merchandises and services. The residents of Hampford will also stand to benefit, since it is just 15 kilometers train ride away. For all these advantages, there are drawbacks to A. It is not in the neighborhood of the airport to the southwestern corner, thus inconvenient to flyers, and situated opposite to an industrial belt, where smoke billowing from the chimneys will spoil shopping mood.

These problems are even more pronounced for C. It is located in the southern end, at a distance from the airport and close to a larger industrial complex. Albeit in the countryside, it is fairly accessible, thanks to its proximity to the railway, allowing shoppers coming here by train.

However, B does not have the redeeming feature. Situated in the northeastern corner, B is far from the residential area, let along the airport on the opposite side. Moreover, as no traffic line extends here, shoppers will have to make a trek. Perhaps the only advantage is that they will enjoy blue sky and fresh air, if a hypermarket is constructed in the countryside, distant from industrial areas.

Please feel free to give me advice. I would more appreciate it if you score my essay. I am trying to improve my English proficiency by keeping writing. My current focus is on map analysis.

The essay contains 350 words. I think I've presented a comprehensive analysis of the sites and the practice is good to improve my writing. However, it's quite hard to do such a work in 20 minutes in an actual test (45 minutes was used here). So I'm considering compressing it into 250 words. Some details may be safely omitted and a question arises:

Is it OK to delete the second paragraph to directly discuss the differences between A, B and C?

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@LadyOfClockwork
Hi, here are my suggestions:
ThereTheir difference
Your second paragraph is hard to follow. For example you can simplify this long sentence: Its position is favorable to ... and services.
B is far from both the residential area and the airport on the opposite side of the city.
end, at a faraway from the
and your comparisons are not so bold maybe your paragraphs are not structured as it should be. For example structure your paragraphs based on features not places.

Gang, you can most certainly write 250 words within 20 minutes and get an excellent score. Working within that time frame to create the high standard of essay writing that could get you a high score needs to be achieved through constant practice though. Writing and writing until the analysis and writing part becomes so second nature to you, that you find 20 minutes too long for the writing task already. It seems difficult for now, but in reality, as you get better with writing over time, you will begin to find that you are writing the same length of essay within 20 minutes or less already.

I believe that you are asking about the "trending" discussion that is represented in the second paragraph. Yes, you can safely omit that in this and any future essay that does not have a direct requirement for a "trending" presentation. The choice of what to include and not include in your essay is actually your own decision to make. You will be scored either way. So do what you feel you are comfortable doing or write how you feel the essay should be written based upon the allotted time frame. If you can bundle information for presentation in other paragraphs, then you can do that as well. You can combine information in an analytical essay, per paragraph. You just can't do that in the Task 2 essay because of differing writing requirements.

With regards to your score for this essay. A funny thing happened as I reviewed your paper. I was looking at the map, trying to find the reference that would support your claim of "a dazzling collection of merchandises and services." I did not find any portion on the map or its description list that would support that claim. Neither was there a reference to "smoke billowing from the chimneys". So for the TA portion, you get a 5. For the rest of the scoring considerations, a 7.

You now have a tendency to make up information as you write the essay, which makes it extremely difficult for you to complete the review of the presented work and the report workup within the allotted 20 minutes. That is why you took 40 minutes to write this essay. You found a need to make up and include information that wasn't in the original presentation. Don't do that. That is the best way to keep getting scored down in the test. Stick to the facts presented. Do not make up information unless it can be supported by visual evidence from the map.

@Holt
Thank you for your detailed explanation. That's quite clear now. I will make progress accordingly.

In this essay, I tried to include everything that came to mind when I was writing. So you saw "a dazzling collection of merchandises and services" here. This was also an exploration of the limits of clarifying the implications.

The attempt proves unsuccessful, but I have learned a lesson anyway. :-)

Hi, I tried to make my essay concise and eliminate imaginary information. Please feel free to give me advice. I'm doing my best to perfect my writing style.

The map illustrates where a new hypermarket is likely to be built in the city of Pellington. Three sites, A, B and C, have been brought forward for consideration. Their differences will be summarized in this essay by making appropriate comparisons.

With a population of 120,000, Pellington has a railway that leads around west to Hampford, through a residential area surrounding a traffic-free zone and an adjacent park. To the east of the railway lies a motorway. It intersects an industrial complex to the north.

A is sited just west of the pedestrian zone, close to the railway, a position favorable to strollers, and residents not merely in Pellington, but in Hampford. To arrive here only takes a 15 kilometers train ride for 30,000 people living in Hampford. However, A is also right opposite to an industrial belt. The noise of factory activities can dampen shopping mood.

The problem is more pronounced for C, which is in proximity to the larger industrial zone. Located in the countryside, it is also outside the housing estate. However, it remains fairly accessible, thanks to its closeness to the railway.

By comparison, B is even father from where people live. It sits on the northeastern corner of the city, without any traffic line communicating it with the city center. Yet the motorway is within a short distance, making it convenient for drivers to do shopping.

These sites share one drawback that they are far from the airport in the southwestern extreme. When passengers alight from a plane, they will have to cover a distance to A or C. If the hypermarket is constructed in B, they must make a longer journey to feed their shopping appetite.

280 words

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Gang, you have a fixation on shopping centers. That seems to keep popping up in this particular analysis of yours even though the map itself and its accompanying descriptions do not indicate the existence of a shopping center. An industrial complex does not include any shopping facilities because that is composed of factories and offices. I believe that you have a misunderstanding of the term "industrial" in this essay. Industries are composed of factories and manufacturing plants. There are no shopping meccas there. Stop indicating such things. There is no reference to noise from the industrial complex in relation to shopping either. Like I said, an industrial complex is different from a mixed use complex. A mixed use complex has both industrial and recreation facilities like a mini mall, which would relate to your discussion better. If it is not listed in the side bar, it is not implied in the drawing, it should not be included in your presentation. Stick only to images actually provided for the discussion. No additions of non-existent illustrated portions. Remember, explain within reasons supported by the illustration. Do not make up information or include information that is not visible in the image. You will lose major points for that. Everything else in the essay is fine in terms of analysis and information presentation.

@Holt
Thank you for your explanation. But I'm a bit confused. I suppose the map is about "shopping center", as the prompy goes:
The map below shows three proposed sites for a new hypermarket (A, B and C) in the city of Pellington.

I tried to include the industry area to explain its potential impacts on the site choice. Since "industrial complex" contains factories, whose operations can make noise. So I try to make clear the implication.

Now I don't know how to describe the potential impacts that an industrial area have on the choice of sites for a new market. The map does indicate two industrial areas. So can I simply leave them out?

I look forward to your answer. Since I have used up my credits yet. Perhaps I have to wait until I post another thread.