Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Time Summary: Why Buying the Latest Apple Gadget Can Feel Like a Religious Experience



jomul01 14 / 14  
Aug 24, 2016   #1
Your feedback is very welcome !

Some people can't resist to buy the latest gadgets on its first sales announcement. This seems likely to occur as human brain is wired that makes them crave on the gadgets. Sundeep Teki, a neuroscientist at the University of Oxford, mentioned that it is human natural desire to seek security and social acknowledgement. This action triggers the reward network in the striatum, then followed by releasing dopamine. When this condition is rewarded, dopamine level will increase. In the other words, apple companies are seeing this as a opportunity exploit human desire. Such a normal view in this day and age, apple products activate people brain to picture their products as a faith.

Neuromarketing is the combination of marketing and neuroscience. Business utilize this concept through several psychology and neuroscience experimental to trigger human desire on gadgets. Psychology reason also plays important role, there is a people hope within technology development. People has experienced this development and they put their trust in it.

Fadhilahumar91 61 / 68  
Aug 24, 2016   #2
hi...

Some people can'tcannot resist to (actually it is true, but do not use abbreviating in academic writing)

This seems likely to occur as human brain is ...
This action triggers the reward network in the striatum, (no verb in your sentence, pay attention for it)
In the other wordsOn the other hand , apple companies are seeing
several psychology(......) and neuroscience experimental (you mention about neuroscience experimental, so you must mention psychology ..... too)

Psychologist Psychology reason also plays important role,

thank you
TJLuschen - / 236  
Aug 24, 2016   #3
Hi Fadhilahumar91, please excuse my temerity, but I disagree with a couple of your corrections:

This action triggers the reward network in the striatum, (no verb in your sentence, pay attention for it)

Isn't "triggers" the verb here?

In the other words On the other hand, apple companies are seeing

I believe "in other words" is correct here as jomul is restating the facts. "On the other hand" would be used if jomul were giving an alternate explanation.


Home / Writing Feedback / Time Summary: Why Buying the Latest Apple Gadget Can Feel Like a Religious Experience
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳