TOEFL_Some prefer to work for a company, some prefer to work for themselves.

Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for the company. Other people think is better to go into business for themselves.Which do you think is better?

There are many kinds of jobs in society. Some of them are done by companies that related to government, and some of them are done by privet companies. Although both companies have their advantages and disadvantages, I woud prefer to work for myself, and have my own business.There are many benefits when people work for themselves rather than work for the others.

In the first place, there are a large number of opportunities in privet works that you cannot find them when you work for the others. In your job you can be boss of yourself; however, in the other jobs someone else are your boss. You always have to be responsible for your task, and it make a stressful situation that I never like it.

What is more, when people work for themselves they make more profit for themselves, but in the other jobs you make profits for the other such as your manager. Unfortunately nowadays most of them pick up this profit without sharing a small sum of it with their workers, and from my point of view it is unfair.

Finally, there are some authorities in privet jobs that workers are always looking for them while they are working for the others. when you work for yourself you can punch in and punch out whenever you want. Sometimes some occasions happen to people for example a disease, sticking in a traffic jam and sometime going on a vacation. For all of them we have to ask for a permission, and most of the time we are not allowed.

There is no doubt that working for the other have some advantages, too, but I imagine people that have their own business are more comfortable. They have more opportunities, profits, and authorities.

I think you've done a good job. You get to the point really fast, which is good.
However, you need a more catchy intro, perhaps one like :
Looking back to my childhood, my father always says that "You can never have a good life if you work with other people" ....

and also, you said privet, I searched it in the internet and its not an English word, I dont know if its another language but its often used in english though, maybe you can use the word "independent". Just my thought.

Hope this heps
But also, perhaps I'm not entirely right.
:)
shannen

I woul d prefer to work for myself
In your job, you can be boss of yourself;
in the other jobs,
someone else are is your boss.
it makes a stressful situation
when people work for themselves,
w W hen you work for yourself,
, for example, a disease,