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IELTS writing task 2 - topic: who should be accountable for the environmental protection?

mymyhannah 1 / -  
Aug 6, 2022   #1
Environmental protection is the responsibility of governments, not individuals as individuals can do too little.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Problems relating to the environment have nearly never ceased to cause deep concerns to humans. Some take the view that the leaders of a country should hold accountable for the environmental protection as this practice is regarded as an onerous mission for individuals to take on. Analyzing the ability of individuals to recycle old things and reduce the amount of carbon emission by using public transport will illustrate the idea that individuals are capable of protecting the environment, not just the governments.

Firstly, individuals could recycle the used materials to preserve the environment surrounding them. For example, Go Green, one of the leading environmental organizations established by environment-conscious Vietnamese members, has succeeded in invigorating millions of Vietnamese to recycle the receptacles after using them. As an individual organization could have the capability to raise people's awareness of the environment, the prospect of other individuals could have a similar impact on the whole society is probably no longer far-fetched. Thus, it is clear that not only the governments but also individuals could exert a huge positive impact on environmental improvement.

Secondly, the upsurge in using public transport by individuals has the tremendous effect to put a damper on carbon emissions, which are the precursor to the degraded environment. A 2021 research carried out by the Vietnamese environment Institute shows the CO2 level in metropolises in the Northern part of Vietnam plunged as a result of changes in the commute habit of people. An inordinate number of people have utilized public transit as their main means of getting around instead of using personal vehicles such as motorbikes or cars. This example illustrates the idea that every individual can be a force of change to enhance environmental quality. Hence, it should be reassured that governments are not the sole force that has enough capacity to deal with complex environmental issues.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that besides the governments, individuals have a crucial role in environmental preservation by taking simple actions such as reusing old materials and taking the advantage of public transit. Therefore, the public should join hands with the governments to uphold the quality of the environment we inhabit.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Aug 6, 2022   #2
The essay will immediately receive a failing score in the preliminary TA assessment because it does not repost in the correct format. The expected response delivery was instead placed in the conclusion. That emotional response must be presented twice in the same essay. The first in the restatement, the second in the reverse paraphrase of the concluding summary. Although the writer wrote more than the necessary word count, his lack of attention to response detail is what proved to be detrimental to his final score. His first paragraph provided a prompt discussion deviation, which cannot be overlooked by the examiner. It does not create the proper foundation for the succeeding discussion paragraphs and therefore, made the overall essay non-passing in the final assessment.
pngnnn21 1 / 1  
Aug 6, 2022   #3
hi, I'm not a professor, but I'm hoping this will help you.
Your essay includes too many details and the limitation of the IELTS writing is just about 250 words.
You need to understand the IELTS format. In this kind of writing, you have to answer directly whether you agree or not in the beginning part. Overall part has to include the main ideas and need to be focused.

However, I am really impressed by your level of vocab

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 - topic: who should be accountable for the environmental protection?
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