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Topic: Communicating online (advantages outweigh disadvantages?)

k1k1k3 2 / 4  
Sep 17, 2020   #1

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face.

Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many companies,employees tend to exchange words online rather than communicating directly.This notion is believed to have negative impactions due to the fact that some crucial talks may be leaked out easily despite some benefits.

There are two main reasons explained why people prefer to use the online rather than meeting face to face method.One of those is the comfortable that the internet brings which allow people to transmitting their words to their opposite without formal setting.For instance,employers will have to dress formaly and a clean environment when having a direct contact with their boss,however,smart gadgets could delivering messages without concerning about the owners' current situation.As a result,a lot of time is saved and both could feel relaxing meanwhile interacting effectively with each other.

On the other hand,there are many long sitting still being held not only in business but all other industries.This reality reflects the online world as an unreliable method owing to it vulnerable when comes to hacking,scamming and leaking users' information.Google,for instance,had been accused by many that this company tracking people and gathering their data to provide for those who need.Furthermore,by not talking face to face directly,the social bonding skill between humans will be fragile which people would find it difficult to express themselves without the support from the third party.

In conclusion,although there are many benefits of having words through smart gadgets,there are still many potential consequences that are unforseenable.Thus,in order to protect the core information,people should consider other types of communicating rather than the internet.

Thankyou for reading.Feel free to comments and suggest band core if possible!!!!Many thanks
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,976 4812  
Sep 18, 2020   #2
You should aim to write at least 275-290 words for this essay. Writing only the exact minimum word count limits your scoring potential. You need to write at least 275 words so that you can really showcase your writing and comprehension skills. Right now, you wrote the safe word count, which left you with time to review, revise, and edit your essay. Unfortunately, all of the grammar related errors remained unchecked and uncorrected in your presentation. That is definitely not going to be good for your final score. Always remember that you will be scored on the accuracy of your writing. So limit the errors you make as best as you can.

For the reasoning paragraphs, always start with a clear discussion topic as the opening sentence. That way you can focus the discussion properly and create a concretely supported discussion paragraph. Never shift between your actual opinion and the other opinion. Avoid the pitfalls of a comparison essay where one is not warranted. If you wish, you can instead, offer a perceived advantage as the topic sentence then proceed to dismantle the positive to prove that it is a negative by presenting counter evidence in the paragraph.
OP k1k1k3 2 / 4  
Sep 18, 2020   #3
Thankyou for your comments.Really appreciate that!!!

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