Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


TOPIC: No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and



djokernole 1 / 3  
Jun 11, 2020   #1

loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure



TOPIC: No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure.
Discuss the statement and give your own opinion.


ANSWER
Since time immemorial, Nature has featured prominently in the well-being of human societies. Regarding its significance in the prosperity of human life, there goes a saying that " No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and nature will make you rich beyond measure.". From my personal perspective, an appreciation of the values that Nature has bestowed not only enriches people's mental life but also uncovers abundant prospects for future generations.

In the first place, Nature energizes a person mentally. Indeed, for their tranquility, natural beauties are usually the havens to which people find their way after a long-toiled day or week. By harmonizing themselves with their surroundings, they indulge themselves in a peaceful state of mind, relieving themselves of their daily drudgery. For example, Wanderlust is a philosophy that is widely practiced by the Germans, which refers to the custom of going hiking, mostly on weekends. Finding themselves alone in green and serene forests, they learn to embrace simple pleasures of life, from a bird twittering to a refreshing breeze, and revive their stamina for another working week. Therefore, when human beings manage to attain a connection with Mother Nature, she would always provide a sanctuary for their minds to reside on.

By the same token, Nature is a source of inspiration for the world of artists. In fact, it has never been an out-of-fashion topic, and a multitude of masterpieces have indeed been created, successfully engaging the general public in the perception of beauty. The painting Irises by Vincent Van Gogh is a perfect illustration of this point, with the life-force of the flowers being almost tangible under the brushstrokes of the maestro. The masterpiece receives such rave reviews from the art world, and it galvanizes its audience to appreciate the daily surroundings that would often be ignored. In other words, Nature has given born to impressive artworks, which sometimes serve as a wake-up call among the people reminding them of simple pleasures in life.

Last but not least, Nature also unveils immeasurable potentials for humankind should it be well- protected. Indeed, it offers a host of resources that can help raise the standard of human life. For instance, there are abundances of mineral sources such as gold, silver and coal, not to mention other renewables including solar, wind and water, which ensure energy sufficiency for both present and future with sustainable deployment. Additionally, various plants such as aloe and ginseng can be utilized as herbs and remedies for their medicinal values. Thus, if people protect the environment, which is also equivalent to their love for Nature, they are likely to reap considerable dividends for themselves, and their posterities as well.

In conclusion, the statement reaffirms the significance role of Nature in cultivating self-fulfilment and future potentials despite the absence of material richness. Hence, it is imperative that we should take care of our surroundings as a token of respect for our Mother Earth.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15357  
Jun 11, 2020   #2
I am not sure if you wrote this for a CBEST test, IELTS task 2, or TOEFL. Please indicate the exam you are preparing for next time so that a more targeted review of your writing can be used in referencing your work. Based on the available time constraints for the English tests, I would have to say that writing 493 words is just way too much. You wrote so many words, which led to a very boring essay to read. Your paragraphs must get to the point quickly due to the time considerations. Do not overwrite. While you will never be scored down for writing too many words, the scoring down happens in the final scoring consideration. Like I said, your essay could have been simpler, easier understood, and more appealing to the reader if you had written directly instead of focusing on showcasing the amount of English words that you know. That does not always help in an exam essay presentation. While the discussion you presented had minimal grammar issues, that does not erase the fact that the grammar errors could have been dealt with if you did some proof reading after writing. The problem is, with the amount of words that you wrote, I doubt you had any time left over to address the editing task for your essay. Overall, good writing. It's pretty solid. However, the reference to painting show that research was involved in this work so I am not sure that the addition of that information would have been good or bad for your final score.
OP djokernole 1 / 3  
Jun 11, 2020   #3
Thanks for your comment.
Ptp03 4 / 6  
Jun 16, 2020   #4
I do not know which examination you are preparing yourself for, but 493 words seem to long for an IELTS task, I personally think.
I like your examples, your content is pretty persuasive.
However, I find a mistake in your conclusion:
significant role


Home / Writing Feedback / TOPIC: No matter how few possessions you own or how little money you have, loving wildlife and
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳