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TOPIC OF AN ORIGINAL ARTICLE I AM WRITING ON: THE CAREER WOMAN



chizy7 6 / 51  
Dec 16, 2016   #1
I was just writing on this to produce an article on the topic. What do you think about the title and is it a very good article?

Title of Article:

THE CAREER WOMAN


A career woman is a woman who takes pride in her career, who chooses to work and often who is successful at her job. Career women may face gender inequality in the work place, as well as occupational sexism. This may take the form of a gender pay gap, or like a "glass ceiling" that prevents them from rising to the upper rungs of the corporate ladder. I respect career women a lot because they go through a lot in order to support their families. They face discrimination mostly at jobs perceived to be for men like civil engineering and so on.

In some countries and cultures, it is a taboo for a woman to aspire to work or be more successful than the man. Like in Nigeria for example, girls are mostly brought up to aspire to marriage, be good wives, good mothers and world class cooks for their husbands and in most cases be the house keeper (doing all the chores). I was on a trip to Abuja (Northern Nigeria) and I decided to spend a day in an urban area where most people living there cannot afford 3 square meals a day. As I was observing a particular family of 5 kids, the youngest daughter who is around the age of 10 saw an airplane fly over and she was like, "I will have 3 planes, 1 for my personal use and 2 for my company". Her father instead of encouraging her to work towards her dream, shut her up in a harsh manner and sent her inside to wash plates and clean the house making a parting statement "better go and learn how to cook very well and be a good wife" still on his way out, he gave the son who is a year older than his daughter and was outside playing soccer with his friends a 'high five'. From the view of what happened here, the father discouraged the daughter from aspiring towards a career of owning her own company. When I made further enquiries, I found out the boy attended school and the girl did not attend school rather she is at home all day cooking,washing,cleaning and looking after her baby sister aspiring to be a good wife and mother.

Most men feel threatened by the woman having long time beliefs that a woman must be under a man and that is why something like the "gender pay gap" exists. You will see a man and a woman working for the same corporation, both at the same level performing equal work and the man gets paid more than the woman or the woman will be qualified to rise to the position of a CEO but she will never be promoted to that position.

In the United States, the average females unadjusted annual salary has been cited as 78% of that of the average male. When we think of gender, we often think of male or female; that's only half of understanding gender. When considering gender, we often encounter bias, both intentional and unintentional, and implicit or explicit. We may have presumptive judgements or opinions about genders that differ from our own, which are often the result of our own upbringing. I believe that we have to get rid of this thick glass ceiling between genders and there should be equal pay for equal work.

Most people allow some myths about career women to cloud their judgement. Myths like:

~ working women are bad mothers: we all know one woman who does not work and is a bad mother. Career women can be good mothers and excellent role models to their children.

~ women are bad bosses: most people would say they would prefer a male boss to a female one. Some will give reasons like women lack leadership qualities needed at the top. Women are good bosses. Like Amy Gutmann, President of University of Pennsylvania one of the best president the University has ever had and loved by many at UPENN.

~ career women don't have kids or like kids: there are lots of career women who like kids and even have kids of their own.

~ his career is more important than yours: there are lots of women who have given up their careers to be a stay at home full time mum. Like in my example, the father through his actions tells the girl that her brothers career is more important than hers. This is a lie, his career is not more important than yours. You have the right to have a career.

~ business is for boys: another lie. A woman can be a good business woman. We know lots of women who have big businesses and own fortune 500 companies.

~ career women don't have time for their families: you can be the President of World Bank or own a big company and still attend your son or daughters sports games,eat dinner with your family, put your kids to bed,help them with their homework and spend quality time with your husband.

Women can be good CEO's,Presidents,Engineers,Pilots,Wives,Mothers and so on. We should always support girls and women who aspire to careers. We should support their ambitions and not torture them. We should not give them the message that if they are ambitious, they will be punished. If they focus on career, no man will have them. And if they marry, they will never have children. And if they have kids, they will ruin their kids. We should support women to make choices, to be hard-working employers and employees. There should be equality of both sexes.

And yes I am a feminist. Thank You!
#supportacareerwomantoday
#genderequality
#careerwomenaregoodmothers

Sneedae 1 / 3  
Dec 16, 2016   #2
Firstly your title is okay, but it is not necessarily eye catching as most articles try to be. Maybe try something like "The career woman, economic inequality's rival." Try to tease it out a bit more.

Your statistic and logic is sound, but your authority is undermined by your over use of personal pronouns and "like" phrases. "We" provides emphasis and is used perfectly in your conclusion but try and take yourself out of the essay, no matter how personal you may feel to your topic. You passion can be seen without you telling us that you are passionate.

Overall a good start!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Dec 17, 2016   #3
Chizaram, your title is as stale as day old bread. There is nothing unique about it that makes it pop off the page or encourages anybody, specifically the females, to pick up their table to read your article. You need to come up with a stronger title for your article. One that clearly represents the thesis statement of your essay and encourages the women to learn from it. Here is a trick that I learned while I was enrolled in creative writing class. The title of the story, or in this case, the article, can be developed last. That is because you should focus on creating the content first. The title, comes after you have completed your writing. That is because there is a tendency for the title to be developed during the writing process.

So if I were you, I would first, clarify the topic for discussion, because right now, the essay has a very broad coverage and doesn't really have a clear focus that the reader can be interested in, then, I would review my article and try to come up with a snazzy title based upon some of the information that pops at me while I read it. Right now, the article doesn't have any new information to present to the readers. There is nothing you have mentioned that have not been mentioned in other articles before. If I were you, I would focus the article on "Feminism in Nigeria: The Rise of the Career Woman" instead. That way the article can focus on information that other women may not know about but would actually want to learn about.

The article can talk about feminism as an ideology in your country, how women are taking to representing that in the workplace, and present some female role models in your country and how they have overcome obstacles to become a successful career woman there. That is the kind of article that would stand out and make the readers willing to read about it.
OP chizy7 6 / 51  
Dec 17, 2016   #4
Thanks Holt I always look forward to get your feedback. I hope you don't mind if I use the topic you suggested? I just had career women in mind writing that but thanks for helping me. Going broad on the topic will make my article the same old stuff or no story at all but from the topic you just gave I think focusing on a particular place like Nigeria is great cause I am even getting ideas right now and I could go deep into feminism and some sexist laws. When I am through with the revised version I will update that here for review. thanks
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Dec 17, 2016   #5
Go ahead and use my suggested title and topic if you wish to Chizaram. I am glad that I was able to be of help to you. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or if you are uncertain about something. I will be here to assist you in whatever capacity I can. I would be honored if you would use the title I gave you. Here is another suggestion if you don't mind. Try to find the top 3 feminists in Nigeria and make sure to work them into your report. That way you can show that feminism in on the rise and is very much active in the Nigerian career scene. It is pivotal that you also show a short history of women's rights and their treatment in your country throughout the ages. If there is a particular date that is relevant to the women's rights movement there, make sure to include it in your report. Remember, the history of the feminist movement is just as important as discussing is current status in Nigeria. History will be the basis of your modern outlook in this case. Good luck with your article. I look forward to reading it.


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