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TOEFL TOPIC: Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now.


haikie 1 / -  
Dec 28, 2012   #1
Patience, as one of the valuable qualities of traditional Chinese culture, is advocated by a great amount of people, saying that "patience is virtue." Considering the probable wastes of opportunities in circles like economy and politics by acting patience, however, I agree with the statement that it is better to take actions at once. My reasons are as followed.

To begin, remember that "time and tide wait for no man?" In economic field, the one who is brave enough and dare to take the initial risk is often the one who finally find his or her fortune. I still remember that when ZIJIN mining in my hometown first released its original stock at a very low price, residences in the city were all excited, dreaming that one day they would become millionairess, while seldom of them really invested, because most of people want to wait and see how the company get along. The minorities who bought the original stocks at that time are worth billion dollars now. Sometimes while waiting for the opportune moment, you miss the biggest opportunities, especially in the case of business ventures, good things come to those who act.

In addition, in retrospect of the history of politics, I find that the slower we get into action, the more chances we will be perplex by fear; because of its "closed-door policy", whose aim is to wait for the peace and stability by closing the door of the country first, Qing dynasty missed the first industrial revolution, and then resulted its being invasion by eight-united armies, while, it's not enough, later on the leaders enacted another policy called "take a step backward," and this policy caused an even bigger invasion, which forced China to sign unequal treaties, and took HK away. In some ways, actions shows the unyielding and bravery.

Aren't there any benefit of showing patience? Of course the answer will be yes. Patience is the premise of creating a peaceful and friendly world, and being patient can make a better preparation for opportunities, nevertheless, opportunities are ready for it, the more to beat action.

In sum, although patience is a precious traditional Chinese quality and it can lead to a peaceful life, by comparison, considering its effects toward conditions like economic political fields, taking action at most of the time will be better.

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 28, 2012   #2
Patience, as one of the valuable qualities of traditional Chinese culture, is advocated by a great amount of people, saying that "patience is virtue."

Very good opening. However, "great amount" does not seem to go with people. You can say "a large number of people"; " many people"; "majority people" etc.

Considering the probable wastes of opportunities in circles like economy and politics by acting patience,

...in circles such as economic and political circles...

better to take actions at once

... I guess "prompt" is the most appropriate usage;
better to take prompt actions.
aqeel 8 / 25 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #3
haikie
Hi you have to refer to the reasons clearly at the beginning of the body para , then supported idea and examples
it is a great essay
alicederp 10 / 56 4  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
I would clarify your topic sentence, at first read, I thought you had agreed with "patience is a virtue". You might want to write "I disagree with the notion that 'patience is a virtue'" or something along those lines.

Overall, this is a good essay, but I would get someone to check over your grammer. However, I would clarify your last two paragraphs (below).

Aren't there any benefit of showing patience? Of course the answer will be yes. Patience is the premise of creating a peaceful and friendly world, and being patient can make a better preparation for opportunities, nevertheless, opportunities are ready for it, the more to beat action.

In sum, although patience is a precious traditional Chinese quality and it can lead to a peaceful life, by comparison, considering its effects toward conditions like economic political fields, taking action at most of the time will be better.


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