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Topic: Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices is wrong

ducpronehaha123 3 / 4  
Jul 2, 2020   #1

can children decide about different aspects of life?

Topic: Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

We live in an age when many children can decide what to do about aspects of life. Some people believe that children's decision may lead to a selfish character in their thinking. There is more persuasive that is important to let children choose matters impacting children.

On the one hand, parents allowing children to make their own choice many times can create bad habits. This is due to the fact that children are not able to have consciously appropriate decisions for themselves as a childish age. Moreover, children still have enough soft skills to make a good decision. For example, children tend to choose what they want. About food, kids usually like to eat sweet food, thus, generally, they will not eat any kind of food, except the sweet one.

On the other hand, when children are under parent's observation and control, they can find out the advantages and disadvantages of their decisions. Therefore, in children's thinking, not only appear an awareness of choosing matters but also generate many great personalities. According to experts, children grow up their mind better when they learn valuable lessons when they do something wrong or even good. Let's take on the example of this regard, in western, parents would teach children admitting mistakes rather than rejecting one. As a result, children become responsible for their decision.

In conclusion, giving children accurate instructions can make a good future generation. Parents should be a children's close friend, who can understand and help them be more mature.

(252 words)
please, give me a score and feedback.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Jul 2, 2020   #2
The prompt requires you to discuss both views and give your opinion. There is no clarity in reference to the opinions being presented in this essay. As a 3 paragraph essay, you should have clearly presented an opinion after discussing the 2 public points of view. As such, you have failed to completely address the task. You did not provide a clear personal opinion within the discussion paragraphs.

Since your essay is lacking in proper reference elements ( first and second pronoun usage) that could have clarified the discussion points, I will not score this essay for now. This is your first attempt at task 2 writing. It will not be fair for me to give you a low score when you have yet to familiarize yourself with the discussion presentations. I should only score you after you have become more familiar with the discussion requirements and presentation process. I will do that next time.

In the meantime, familiarize yourself with the discussion formats for the task 2 essay. Brush up on your language skills to add to your English proficiency in terms of sentence presentations. Once I see that you are more on track with the essay discussion instructions, I will begin scoring your presentations.

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