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WRITING TASK 2 TOPIC: Team sports and individual sports - which is more favourable?



wurstwardchems 1 / -  
Jul 17, 2023   #1
Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.

Discuss both views and give your opinion



Sports selection has polarized public opinion, with a number of people believing that playing individual sports is more advantageous than taking part in team sports and others holding an opposite belief. Personally, I am an advocate of the first group.

There are several justifications why some people prefer participating in sports activities alone. First of all, these sports not only improve players' physical and intellectual health, but also facilitate the development of some personal skills, especially building up independence. In terms of self-reliance, while a team member can receive help from other teammates when playing football, basketball and so forth, there is often no one that an athlete could rely on during a solo game. This has players thinking solely to make their own decisions and tactics precisely. In addition, playing individual sports also gives more flexibility to their schedules. For instance, players can freely decide wherever or whenever they practice without depending on others' approval. This somehow has some positive effects on sportspeople's emotion, which could improve their performance.

However, I strongly agree with the opinion that team sports provide us with far more advantages. Solidarity is one of the obvious benefits that players could gain from such sports. For example, take football into account. The key factor contributing to the victory of a team is not how many points their attackers could score but how they could coordinate from the defenders to the forwards and could they sacrifice themselves for the mutual benefits. The more successful a team is, the more sense of unity is instilled into each individual, which not only helps players in social situations but also benefits them in their workplaces.

In conclusion, although some people say that we should choose to play solo sports such as golf or tennis, I believe that team sports like football provide us more benefits.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 21, 2023   #2
You did a good job of restating the prompt. Your thoughts were well developed and the idea presentation, specially in the transition within the same sentence, was impressive. Your opinion is also well presented and acceptable.

The problem came when you discussed the paragraphs. You should have thought about the actual instructions:

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

What does that mean? It means that you have to first, explain the public opinion. What makes it valid? What makes it invalid or valid based on your personal opinion? 2 comparison paragraphs. Within the paragraph, you need to reflect on the public and your personal opinion to present a solid discussion of the topic.

This essay signifies only your personal opinions, it will not get full scoring considerations because the public opinion went missing in the presentation.
tieuthanh 4 / 11  
Jul 22, 2023   #3
@wurstwardchems

Your thesis statement seems to be a bit short because you only mention "the first group", I suggest that you should write: "I advocate for the fact that team sports would offer participants more benefits".

In addition, the sentence "take football into account" should be combined with the following clause to have a connection, you could write: "For example, regarding football, the key factor contributing to the victory of a team..."

I hope this comment could help you.


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