The total number of pupils in the UK who obtained qualifications for English Language Teachers

Hi, I am Novi, I have written an IELTS Task 1, all meaningful feedback are invited. Thankyou

Question:
The table below shows the number of students living in the UK gaining English language teacher training qualifications in 2007/8 and 2008/9, and the proportion of male qualifiers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table highlights the information on the total number of pupils in the United Kingdom who obtained qualifications for English Language Teachers in two academic years, 2007/8 and 2008/9 with specific focus on the number of male qualifiers. Overall, the total numbers of students remained the same at the period under review, but there was a significant difference between the numbers of male and female students who accomplished.

A closer looked to the table, there was a decrease total percentage of qualified male, approximately 2% a year later. Moreover, both of two test showed the decrease number which Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees showed a dramatic decline than TEFL, 17,3% to 12,1%. In addition, the number of male students who qualified with the TEFL was roughly three times the number who qualified with a Cambridge UCLES CELTA or other degrees.

In contrast, female showed the contrast view from male. In 2008/2009 it is revealed that there was a rise number in total and Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees. Even thought, in TEFL a decline is noted but, it fell in modest number, 14.

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Hi uvri, I notice that you've made some noticeable errors there. I think you should mind the corrections that I've made below:

A closer looked to the table, there was a slightly decrease in the total percentage of qualified males , approximately 2% in a second perioda year later . Moreover, both of the two tests showed the decrease number(number of what? i think you should make it more clearly) which Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other ...

... the TEFL was roughly three times higher than the number who qualified ...

In contrast, female showed the contrastdifferent/ opposite view from male. In 2008/2009, it is revealed that there was a slight rise number in total (total what? do you mean total of student? or in one of category?) and Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees. Even thought, in TEFL a decline is noted but, it fell in modest number, 14.(uvi, what do you mean with "14"? sorry i cannot catch your meaning in this sentence).

hopefully, my correction can help you and give other perspective, keep learning together urvy :)

Hi Novi, here's another take on your analysis.

2nd paragraph
- A closer looked to the table,
- there was a decrease in the total
- of twothe test showed
- thea decrease in

- In contrastOn the contrary , female
- that there wasis a rise
- in the number
- inof total and
- Even thoughtthough ,
- buthowever , it fell in a

There you have it Novi, I hope you will be able to follow through with the corrections made for your analysis. For future writing reference, mind the tenses you use to associate in your sentences as this greatly affects the entire idea of the essay. Should you need further assistance, do let us know so we can assist you further.

Hi, Novi. Here is my suggestion for your writing.

The first paragraph
- in two academic years, between 2007/8 and 2008/9
- on the numberpercentage of
- the total numbers of students remained the samestableat the period under review,during the period