IELTS WRITING TASK 1, TOURISM IN AUSTRALIA AND GERMANY

number of tourists in two countries over the 50 years

The pie charts provide information on the changes to tourism to Australia and Germany from 1960 to 2000.
Overall, it is clear that in both countries, the number of people coming from Asian countries and the USA visiting these showed an increase, whereas the number of British and European tourists decreased overtime.

In 1960, European tourists accounted for more than half of the tourists in Australia. However, 50 years later, that number plunged to only 10%. In contrast, in 1960, 10% of the tourists were Asians after which the number of Asian tourists multiplied 6 times, thus occupying most of the tourists in 2000. Less American and British people came to visit Australia, both resulting in a 5% decrease.

Regarding tourism in Germany in 1960, most visitors are from Europe which constituted 45% of all visitors. Even though the numbers experienced a 5% drop, European visitors still occupied most of the tourists in Germany. The amount of Brisitsh visitors also had a dramatic decrease, from accounting for a quarter to only 5% of the tourists.

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  dec11.png
  

... constituted 45% of the total figure.

Hi, there. I would like to give you some feedback about your writing.🤗

1. .......to tourism "in" Australia and ...

2.in your overview, I noticed that there is a small mistake. The percentage of USA visitors in Australia from 1960 to 2000 is "decrease" while in your overview wrote "increase". Be careful of writing wrong information in Task 1 may deduct your band score.

3.For the comparison, I think the way you compared the figures based on "year" is good. However, I would like to compare the figures by " country" which is like "Asian visitors stood at the same ratio which is 10% in both countries in 1960 while in 2000 the ratio boosted dramatically in both countries. There is 53% increase in Australia and 15% increase in Germany"

Hope it would help your future writing.😁😁