Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? impact?



tuanydbg 2 / 1  
Jun 1, 2018   #1

the Disappearing Culture of the Family Meal



Eating with families is the important custom of many areas in the world esspecially Asia .However , this tradition is becoming to disappear in the modern life due to a lot of reasons such as job and friends.Losing this tradition can lead to unhappy families , unrespect to the ancestor and others references.This essay will shed light on this problem.

First of all, job is one of the most common reasons .Nowadays, people are trying their best to improve their career by working overtime to get the higher profits or having dinner with partners to develop their relationship in order to co-operate in some contracts. Young generation is likely to spend their precious time on working in lieu of family ,they want to be rich and famous regardless of being unhappy and exhausted .Moreover, low wage and fail in some contracts that has an bad impact on them makes them discouraged and disappointed .That prevent them from coming home and they will find the other place to relax.

Second, having meals with family is boring. According to the research from Cambridge University , 90% of youngsters asked tend to eat with their friends and fellows because they are more interesting .Eating meals with older generation makes youngers feel bored and uncomfortable ,they have to care about their behaviors and their talk while having dinner with friends is more comfortable and fantastic.

On the other hand , family gets together to eat meals is a good tradition, it helps family's members feel happy and cozy so that it should be desevered. .Some groups of citizens realize that problem and they are trying to fix it.

In conclusion, if the tradition of eating meals with family is disappeared , it will have bad effects on the world and the ancestor will be disappointed about our generation.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Jun 2, 2018   #2
Tuan, this is a direct reasoning essay. It is not a comparison essay based upon the original prompt instructions. However, you chose to discuss this as a comparison essay. That means, your essay will only be partially correct in responding to the prompt. The prompt clearly indicates that there are only 2 questions to be responded to in this essay which are:

1. Reasons
2. Impacts

While you did respond to the questions, you did so in such a minimal way, throwing in multiple reasons into one paragraph when the per paragraph instruction for the Task 2 essay is always one topic per paragraph. So you should have spread out the reasons into 2 paragraphs. You do not need to present many reasons, only 2 reasons that will help illustrate your response. The third paragraph should have been used for the impact discussion. So the outline should have been:

1. Heavy workload
2. Low Wages
3. Negative impact of the 2 reasons

I noticed that you did research for this paper by referring to a study from Cambridge University. Avoid doing research during your practice tests as the testing center will have their computers locked down to only LAN access. You cannot access the internet so you will not be able to do research. If you want to score higher in this, or any other task 2 essay, use personal experience instead. Does your family not eat meals together? How do you feel about that? What is its impact on your family life? Showing a personal connection tells the examiner that you have a deep understanding of the topic provided and he will score you higher on the TA section of the test because of it.

Your conclusion is inaccurate. You are not really offering a proper summary of the discussion since this is just a long sentence that does not relate to the previous discussions. You need to create a proper summary of the preceding discussion with a restatement of the prompt thesis from your original paraphrase in order to properly summarize and close the discussion for this essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? impact?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳