Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employee



Huongdang 1 / -  
Apr 26, 2024   #1
Transport and accommodation have been a controversial subject in megacities. Many people believe that to tackle these issues, large companies, factories, and labour forces should relocate to the rural area, whereas I am of the opinion that remaining them in the central cities is more convenient.

On the one hand, there are many reasons why I believe a suburb is a suitable place for industry to solve traffic and housing problems. First of all, traffic congestion will decrease significantly because many businesses move to the countryside. The society benefits from more fresh air and less emissions of traffic. Another reason is that housing scarcity can be resolved for individuals in rural areas. When the massive number of employees work in this place, resulting in a decrease in the demand for accommodation. For example, instead of living in small rooms in the downtown region, workers can opt to stay on a terrace or in a private house which are adorable prices for them. Consequently, they can save more amount of budget to increase their standard of living.

On the other hand, transforming important companies, factories, and manpower to the village also exist threatens to the community. Firstly, this action causes environmental damage and habitat destruction. To built a sustainable infrastructure for businesses, entrepreneurs decide to cut down trees and forests that provide oxygen and biological diversity. Furthermore, blue-collar workers waste more time commuting when removing to the new offices. For instance, parents only take 30 minutes to school with their children in the large cities, they must spend 45 minutes to commute in other provinces because of overloaded transport in the industrial zones.

In conclusion, although it is partly true that traffic and housing issues can be deal with expanding businesses to the small city, I still support the view that this action can lead to various disadvantages.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
May 3, 2024   #2
The prompt restatement and writer's opinion is good enough to get a passing preliminary score. The problem is that the reasoning paragraphs are incorrectly presented. These wrong discussion points will result in a failing score for the essay. The reason for the failed exam will be an under developed discussion reason. Remember that this is a single opinion essay. So you have to support your opinion using 2 reasons that explain your point of view. Since you only have one paragraph supporting your opinion, you will not get a passing score. The second paragraph does not support your opinion so it will receive a failing score. Always make sure to discuss only your supporting opinions unless you are asked to compare and contrast or discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employee
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳