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Traffic jams in big cities - headache question for the government to solve



Thanh Thuy 1 / -  
Feb 13, 2014   #1
Hi everyone, this is my first essay about the traffic jams in big cities. please help me to check the grammar, and the content is ok?

When it comes to traffic jams, we can see that it is a big problem for big cities. Since the damage of traffic jam come to our life too much that is the air pollution. Yet it is a headache question for the government to solve. The main causes of traffic jam are the old poor traffic system and the rising population.

The first cause of traffic jams is crowded cities is the old and downgraded traffic system. There are many vehicles running through big cities' street each day, these heavy struck make the road become old and downgraded. Instead of solving the problem, the government sometime make the worse problem. When they create a new project to fix the road or build the overpasses without on time. It makes traffic become more narrow that is difficult for drivers.

An ever increasing population also results in worse and worse traffic congestion. The big cities have the creation the population increased with a great speed. The modern life make them use their private car or motorbike go to school, go to work, to the store, or anywhere instead of public transportation.As the number of private cars increases greatly over the years, traffic congestion occurs when the needed road capacity is not fulfilled. It's one of many factors that leads to traffic jam. More cars make the roads more crowd, and also make the traffic worse.

To sum up, the poor traffic system and the rising population are factors that lead to traffic jams. If this problem is not solved as soon as possible, it can lead to other problems. The government need to find out the methods to bring an stop end to traffic jams.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Feb 13, 2014   #2
Hi everyone, this is my first essay about the traffic jams in big cities. please help me to check the grammar, and the content is ok?

Ok, then I need to request you to pay attention to these points when you open your new threads (the problems have already been fixed by us for this essay)

1. Have a meaningful title in the subject field when you open a new thread. Your title should describe the topic of your essay
2. Include the purpose of your writing, e.g. TOEFL, IELTS, GRE etc., in the title itself
3. Include the prompt together with your essay
MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Feb 13, 2014   #3
When it comes to traffic jams, we can see that it is a big problem for big cities.

Traffic congestion has become a serious problem in many big cities in the world.

Since the damage of traffic jam come to our life too much that is the air pollution.

This has grammatical mistakes and you didn't mention anything related to air pollution in the rest of the essay. If it is irrelevant to the topic, then you could omit this sentence.

Yet it is a headache question for the government to solve.

I don't think "Yet" should be used here.

these heavy struck make the road become old and downgraded

This part could form a separate sentence.

The big cities have the creation the population increased with a great speed.

The bold part is not clear.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Mar 14, 2014   #4
When they create a new project to fix the road or build the overpasses without on time. It , this makes traffic become more narrow that is difficult for drivers.

This is good. However, this needs detailed information, adding examples.

Have a meaningful title in the subject field when you open a new thread.

I am with Dumi. By adding the completed prompt, you help readers clearly understand what to do for the task.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Mar 14, 2014   #5
An ever increasing population also results in worse and worse traffic congestion.

.... avoid redundant words

The big cities have the creation the population increased with a great speed.

The big cities face the problem of rapid growth in population and thereby experience heavy traffic congestion due to large numbers of private cars and other vehicles

It's one of the many factors that leads to traffic jams . More cars make the roads more crowded, and also make the traffic worse.


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