Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? Solutions?



gtamani 6 / 13  
Nov 23, 2013   #1
Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? How can we help solve these problems as individuals?

Traffic congestion has been one of the major problems in contemporary society. This issue has partly been the result of rapid urbanization and partly result of increase in disposable income of individuals. In this essay, I will discuss the major reasons behind the increase in Traffic problems and identify the solutions to minimize its impact.

People moving from the towns to city looking for the job and educational opportunities have been increasing in the recent times. Modernizing the public infrastructure to meet the demand of the population becomes imperative with increase in population. However, government has been lagging far behind in its spending for public infrastructure such as road and transportation network.

Likewise, we have witnessed the tremendous economic growth for last couple of decade. As an outcome of this, the level of people disposable income has significantly increased. With increase in disposable income, people tend to look for various avenues in which to make investment. In my observation, industries such as automobiles have been successful to entice these customers by associating automobiles with the social status of people. Consumer falls into this vicious trap buys latest and trendy cars regardless of whether there is an immediate need for such vehicles.

Government needs to be more proactive in anticipating the latent demand and make necessary arrangement to cope up with problems. I think government has various tools at its disposable to curtail this problem. Public awareness campaign could be used to make people more aware about the environmental issues and and also to encourage people to use public transports. This can be implemented in multiple ways. Firstly, the public transportation system should be made more efficient, perhaps subsidized. Secondly, free car parking facilities should be developed in close proximity to all the major train station. Thirdly, government can reward the people, who directly or indirectly contribute to minimize the traffic problems by adopting the measures such as car- pooling. For example, a separate high-speed lane is provided for car with more than three people.

In conclusion, traffic congestion is a complex in nature, as it requires changing the perception and behavior of people. I am certain that with government participation and policy, its impact can be minimize

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Nov 23, 2013   #2
This issue has partly been the result of rapid urbanization and partly result of increase in disposable income of individuals.

You write very well and it is a very good introduction. However, the last sentence is the one that I find a bit weak;

In this essay, I will discuss the major reasons behind the increase in Traffic problems and identify the solutions to minimize its impact.

I prefer if you presented this idea differently because these are the expectations of the reader. The reader anyway knows you are going to do that in forthcoming body paras as the prompt has instructed you to do so. I wish if you just mentioned the reasons and solutions very briefly (you are going to elaborate on them in the body paras) to conclude your intro.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 24, 2013   #3
I guess this is for IELTS because you have written some essays under IELTS topics. :) Include the purpose (IETLS or TOEFL) in the title so that it is easy for others to provide you with task related comments :)

You write very well and it is a very good introduction.

Pahan is right. You have excellent writing skills. Very good sentences, vocabulary , ideas etc. However, as for the structure, I guess it is better if you include more specific examples in the body paragraphs in order to support your reasons. These examples, for sure, would help you earn a very good score.

Try to go for a very good band , I think you can. Good luck!
awentworth 3 / 5  
Nov 24, 2013   #4
Very well written, but has the feelings of a sophisticated list. If possible try to explain the ideas without saying first this, second that, and so on. Like others have said you use a broad variety of vocabulary and sophisticated style, but try to include specific examples when possibloe to enhance the effect of what you are trying to do.
duo008 6 / 20  
Nov 25, 2013   #5
hi gtamani
it's a really good written, but I think it's not very match the question that has been given.

What problems does it create?
I think the first question you should talk about what the problems will be create by traffic

How can we help solve these problems as individuals?
how can you do to resolve these problems, it's more relative yourself not the government
ieltsp 6 / 12  
Nov 25, 2013   #6
gtamani, you have a wide vocabulary and complex ideas that make your essay a pleasure to read. I really loved it. The only thing that i wanted to say is to minimize the use of personal pronouns.

All the best for your IELTS...


Home / Writing Feedback / Nowadays traffic in major cities is worsening. What problems does it create? Solutions?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳