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General Training, Task 2 - Type: Direct Questions - Subject: Prepare students for the world of work



Gaucho 8 / 15  
Mar 30, 2020   #1
In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.

What should schools do to prepare students for the world of work?



Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


In some European countries, some young children aged 11to 13 attend schools that offer vocational education that will help them to secure a job in the future, while others are still going to schools that prioritise a more generalised education. In my opinion, at a tender age, schools should focus on the overall academic development, introducing professional learning at high school.

Before teaching practical skills to children, schools should teach essential academic subjects. At the age of 11 to 13, youngsters should have their thought shaped, their learning ability improved, and an elementary knowledge of all subjects consolidated. For example, in my primary school, I had a strong schooling education, mixed with the learning of skills such as critical thinking, teamwork, and computer knowledge. This educational methodology was fundamental for my career as well as my life.

It must be also pointed out that vocational training should be made compulsory for high school students only. Children aged 11 to 13 are not mature enough to understand the needs of the job market and instilling vocational training in them will only pressurise their young minds. For instance, I initiated my vocational programs when I was in high school, in an age in which I was prepared to absorb that information and use it in an appropriate way. Having a successful career, I could say that by having consolidated general academic knowledge before learning practical skills, I was properly prepared for the world of work.

In conclusion, taking these factors into consideration, I am inclined to believe that schools should respect each students' phase. At an early age, a generalised education is more appropriated because children have to develop knowledge that might be applied for any professional field. Therefore, having these concepts consolidated will be essential when they start to learn practical skills in high school, giving them more conditions to get ready for work.

miatran239 1 / 6  
Mar 30, 2020   #2
Dear, although your essay is lengthy enough, there are problems with coherence that I want you to ponder:

At your introduction, you claim that your view will support the second idea, that "schools should focus on the overall academic development, introducing professional learning at high school". Meanwhile in your body paragraph, the example of your opinion "For example, in (...) as well as my life" is somewhat conflict to the aforementioned view. This will affect the coherence of the essay.

This similarity tendency is also happen in your second body, where you totally denied your view in the opening. Therefore, you should be more considerate about the structure and create the logical supporting ideas

The conclusion must supportive to the introduction as well as the flow of all the ideas in the essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / General Training, Task 2 - Type: Direct Questions - Subject: Prepare students for the world of work
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