Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 10


IELTS Task 2 travel alone or with friends?



fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 20, 2014   #1
Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Nowadays, tourism places are more than in the past. It affects the tourists' expectation as well. Different person has different aims, so most of them have various ways to visit tourism destinations. Here in Indonesia, most of the inhabitants prefer to go on vacation by visiting some beautiful places with their friends and family. Does it happen to all societies here? The answer is totally 'no'. While the large numbers of Indonesian people prefer to visit tourism area together, others choose to refresh their mind by going alone to see several beautiful destinations.

To begin with, the majority of holidaymakers prefer to travel with their groups instead of travel alone. It is because they could find more interesting moments with their friends. For example, when they visit a beautiful place that they had never visited before, they will find many problems. If one of their friends get problem, they can ask help each other and even find interesting activities. They will feel more enjoyable when they go with their colleagues. It is because if one of their friends could not see something different, it does not close the possibility that the other friends could see it.

This will be extremely different than we go on vacation without friends. Others prefer to see some tourist destination alone because they have private aims. They have distinctive way to refresh their brain by going on holiday alone. When they go to tourism places alone, they could select their destination by themselves without other opinions that could disturb their mood. As a result, they could maximize their satisfaction when they go on vacation and get what they want. Also, this will bring many good effects in their life after the holiday.

In a nutshell, travelling alone or with friends has different sensations. If we go with friends, we should be more patient because we go with different people who have different personality. However, when we go travelling alone, we should be more carefully because we could find many problems that we could not solve them alone.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 20, 2014   #2
Nowadays, tourismtouristic places are more than in the past.

Nowadays, tourism has become more popular than in the past.

This goes out of topic. You should talk about this - Tour with groups or alone? Which is better?
Concentrate on the main objective of your topic and align your writing with that. Pahan - can you please help him with a sample intro? Thanks in advance :D
OP fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 20, 2014   #3
thank you very much for the advice, i really unaware with that

I'll try to rewrite my essay and let's discuss again to make it better
OP fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 20, 2014   #4
Nowadays, tourism places are more than in the past. Different person has different aims. So, it affects some tourists who like travelling to have several expectations. Here in Indonesia, most of travelers prefer to go on vacation by visiting some beautiful places with their friends or families. Does it happen to all of societies here? The answer is totally 'no'. While the large numbers of Indonesian people prefer to visit tourism areas together, others choose to refresh their mind by going alone to see several beautiful holiday destinations.

how if this is my introduction? is there a mistake?
please correct my writing!
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 20, 2014   #5
thank you very much for the advice, i really unaware with that I'll try to rewrite my essay and let's discuss again to make it better

Yes, it is very important that you get hold of a good essay structure because this task is time bound.
MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Jan 20, 2014   #6
Actually, your introduction is too lengthy and examples are not necessary here. Keep it short and direct. Also, while the prompt asks for your opinion, you did not state it clearly .
OP fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 21, 2014   #7
for Pahan and MisterWandering
thanks a lot for your advice
I will try to rewrite my introduction. so, what about the bodies?
your advice s very useful to make my writing improve
OP fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 21, 2014   #8
could I use this introduction?

Nowadays, several people choose to go on vacation with their friends while others argue that visiting holiday destinations alone is better. These distinctive opinions have good and bad sides each. This essay would examine the situations related to these conditions.
MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Jan 21, 2014   #9
These distinctive opinions have good and bad sides each. This essay would examine the situations related to these conditions.

The prompt asks for your own opinion, rather than discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of each side. After reading your essay, I still have no idea which one you prefer :(

I think you should follow Pahan and Dumi's suggestions in their previous comment on the structure of this essay. In this case, I think you should give at least two reasons why you prefer one kind of travel. Each reason will be explained in one body paragraph.
OP fikri 5 / 310  
Jan 21, 2014   #10
okey MisterWandering,,
many thanks for the advice
I will try to rewrite again and we can discuss again about my next essay


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 travel alone or with friends?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳