IELTS Task 1: The trend of GDP growth in post-reform China

Hello! Please kindly help to review my short essay. Thank you so much
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GDP trends in China

The above graph illustrates the GDP trending in China of post-reform period between the year 1978 and 2002.

The GDP remained steady from 1978 to 1983 and slightly increased afterwards. Starting from 1988, the GDP climber dramatically and reached 100,000 million yuan in 2001.

In 1978, the GDP was approximately 4000 million and showed a modest upward trend. The GDP rose minimally to around 5000 million in 1983. The upward trend continued to be gradual after 1983.

The GDP was around 10,000 million yuan in 1988, it grew 5 times more within the next 5 years and went up to 50,000 million yuan in 1993. By the time of 1998, the GDP already soared to 100,000 million yuan which was 5 times of 1993.

To conclude, it is noteworthy that China had made positive improvement of GDP growth in 1988 and such improvement was particularly obvious from 1993 to 2002 which doubled for the time being.

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Wong, you should have aimed to write at least 200 words in order to have a better chance at an overall higher score. With only 156 words written, you did write more than the required number of words but did not really allow yourself a chance to increase your chances at a higher overall score with that highly limited word count. It did not allow you to offer a deeper insight into your English writing and analytical abilities.

Make sure that you have at least 3 sentences per paragraph. Each sentence should help to describe the content of the graph or any illustration that you are provided with. The first paragraph should present a summary of the instructions you are given for the discussion. In this case you should have outlined the essay as:

A line graph has been presented for analysis. The information presented in it relates to the GDP growth in Post-Reform China and is counted in the millions of Yuan. The growth was charted covering the years of 1978, 1983, 1988, 1993, 1998, and 2002. I will be writing a summary report based on the graph for a university lecturer.

Your presentation is not complete because you only use one sentence in each presentation. That is not acceptable and you will be given the lowest possible TA and GRA score because you did not even try to develop paragraph presentations. This means that you did not try to analyze the image presented, you just reported on it as it was shown in the provided illustration.

The work you provided is not a good attempt at writing the task 1 essay. I cannot say that you did not try because you at least wrote a simple analysis of the image. However, a simple analysis is not going to get you a passing score. Try to study the image information a little deeper next time in order to present a (slightly) more complex summary that would have a chance of getting a higher consideration score for each required criteria.

Hello Wong, according to my humble opinion your writing is quite good, that's more than 150 words and you use past tense because that is fit for the data, but you have to make your "overall" clear and I suggest you to always make the comparison in writing task one. the next, you can paraphrase the question and rewrite in your introduction actually. the last, your conclusion have to describe the comprehensive your essay obviously, yet on your current writing I emphasis to focus in comparison, because that is extremely essential. I hope My feedback and suggestions can be useful to you.

@winky_wong
Hi. I'd like to rewrite a sentence for you.

By 1998, the GDP had already soared to 100,000 million yuan...

1) by 1998 is sufficient. "the time of" is redundant.
2) "by + time" usually comes with "had done", that's why I recommend "...had already soared".

But the way, you should always written "million yuan", not just "million".

@winky_wong

Hello wong, Holt is correct. You already presented a graph showing the trend. What you need to do now is to study the graph and give a detailed explanation of the trend instead of just stating the obvious.

Hello Wong,

As a fellow candidate preparing for IELTS academic I can give you few pieces of advice concerning Writing task 1.

1. Try to paraphrase the statement given in the question rubric. While paraphrasing try to include more information taken from the graph, such include the year range(which you have done). You could have included a sentence about the unit, such as, "Units are measured in million yuan".

2. The second paragraph should be focused on general trend or key features starting with the word "overall". Try to compare and contrast a little bit if possible in this segment.

3. For the body paragraphs, try to group the paragraphs logically . Although you somehow have managed to logically divide the body paragraphs into two, it lacks logical flow and cohesion and coherence in your writing.

4. Add more adjectives and adverbs such as significant increase, dramatic increase etc.

Hope this helps.