Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS TASK2: there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine



Anfalia 40 / 46  
Mar 17, 2015   #1
Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent, do you agree with this statement?

Good health is a key for happy life. For this reason, people are increasingly using alternative medicines to treat illness. While this traditional treatment addresses unknown side effects owing to not be tested scientifically, many patients report positive experiences with this treatment. Therefore, I personally believe that seeing high-qualified doctors is a valuable solution for people suffering illness.

...

EF_Jasmine - / 68  
Mar 17, 2015   #2
Hello my edits and suggestions are below:

Good health is a key for (to a) happy life. For this reason,( there is an increasing amount) people are increasingly of people using alternative medicines to treat illness. While this traditional treatment addresses unknown side effects, owing to not be tested ( these are not tested) scientifically, (and) many patients report positive experiences with this ( these treatments). Therefore, I personally believe that seeing high-qualified doctors is a valuable solution for people suffering (from) illness(es).

In an (the) industrialization era, alternative medicine is a pathway to treat illness, and this becomes a popular trend in medical aspect. Research studies have shown that an alternative therapies in Australia (have) climbed steadily during the past 20 twenty years, and people in this country( which country?) is are very conservative (in their) attitudes to natural or alternative therapies. ( Place a statistic here) As a result, alternative medicine is common issue for (the) public.

It is believed that alternative medicine can cure many kinds ( types) of disease(s). According to the Australian Journal of Public Health, 18% percent of patients visiting alternative therapist(s) do so because they suffer from chronic illness. TheyThe individuals in the same studycommented that they liked the holistic approach of their alternative ( alternative? medicine? doctor? please clarify) and detailed attention they had received. By doing so, patients do not need to drink medical drugs. In consequence, alternative medicine enables to treat illness.

Conversely, many alternative medicines have not been tested scientifically. What stands out from this case is( that) an illness could (can)get worse without being tested and treatment from a doctor. Research studies have shown that 12% of American(s) cannot treat their backache problem after getting acupuncture for several times in a therapist. As a result, alternative medicine may have no beneficial effect at all.

In conclusion, alternative medicines might treat ( many) kinds of illnesses . However, people should know (seek) the opinion from (of) qualified doctors to know and identify accurately what kinds of disease suffered them (they are suffering from). When people come to suffer from a chronic disease, it could may be better for them to see a doctor (physician) soon to get receive medical treatment based on scientifically tested (ing).

Hi! You have a very well organized essay! I see your introduction, body paragraphs, and closing. I see you weigh both sides of the argument which is good! You may want to add a couple of sentences to your body paragraphs. Unless specified in the prompt, aim for 5-7 sentences per paragraph. I have placed some edits to help your grammar. The percentages are good, it gives strength to your argument. Good luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2: there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳