Tuan, several errors are present in your analytical report. There is a lack of comparison discussion for certain aspects, there is an error in your dating comparison, and you have not really reported on the main features, in a comparison format within the page. There is also a lack of proper trending statement as part of the prompt overview.
For the prompt overview, I suggest taking the following approach to create a better worded and more accurate summary overview:
aps that represent changes to a hospital in the years 2007 and 2010 respectively are provided for comparison in this essay. The maps from both years indicate significant changes to the road format and parking locations in relation to the hospital facilities. Overall, marked changes were made to the physical location of the hospital by the year 2010. This essay will present these differences and offer comparison whenever possible.Remember that the summary overview needs to indicate the following specific information:
1. Image provided
2.Topic for discussion
3. Instructions for the discussion
4. Trending statement
Now, how you present the information in the paragraph is up to you. The outline above only indicates the information that you must represent to create a proper summary of information presentation. This helps you to create the remaining 3 paragraph discussion for the essay. As a Task 1 essay, this does not require a conclusion paragraph and is expected to be only 4 paragraphs long.
For the 3 paragraph analysis, you should have divided your second paragraph presentation into 3 parts:
1. Description of the 2007 set up
2. Description of the 2010 set up
3. Comparison discussion of the bus stop and roundabout. These were not there in 2007 but was included in the 2010 changes.
Try to be more analytical in your presentation. Look for small changes that may have been overlooked in your first scan of the image. Try to outline the information before you start to draft your essay. After quickly writing your first draft, look at the image again. Compare what you wrote to the image and insert any information you missed or change information that might have been misworded.
Your GRA score may be adversely affected by your English sentence problems that exist throughout the essay. More sentence development exercises are required on your part in order to improve your tense usage and sentence structure presentation. These errors create a question of clarity that could also lower the C&C score for your essay. A clear example of this problem is
Another striking change is the addition of the bus station which was built to replace the bus stops is connected to the hospital road by two roundabouts.
This sentence must have a connecting word in the middle in order to connect the bus stop to the city road and roundabouts. Here, the connecting word is "now" as in "bus stops are
now connected..."