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IELTS Writing Task 2: Two Opinions of the Internet



Ulfaidrus_flip 5 / 5  
Feb 15, 2018   #1
It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


the global network as the main source of information



While some people believe that interconnected network is an outstanding communication platform, others argue that finding information through that is not a good idea. Both perspectives are elaborated in this essay.

Proponents state that the internet is a great communication media due to its availability at any point of the globe. By utilizing this platform, people can socialize with their families, relatives, acquaintances, and even strangers without time and space restrictions. For example, scientists from several different countries can collaborate to conduct a research easily by corresponding through email. Besides, old friends separated by continents can still maintain their relationship by using several kinds of social media, such as Facebook, line, and so forth. These virtues ease people to socialize each other.

On the other hand, the internet is not the best tool to find references as the validity and authorization of information in it cannot be guaranteed. This is because everyone can compose and publish everything they want regardless they master it or not. For instance, people without health educational background can suggest a medicine for addressing a disease just based on their experience without a further proofread by an expert. Eventually, such ineligible post is feasible to mislead readers. In addition, there is not a special authority checking the plagiarism of information stored. To illustrate, an irresponsible blogger can duplicate shared knowledge and reposts it directly ignoring to courtesy of an actual source. This action is obviously a violation of copyright.

To sum up, although internet eases people to communicate, its truth and authority cannot be directly accepted. Accordingly, it is imperative to the government to build an institution which focuses on filtering knowledge and its authenticating.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Feb 16, 2018   #2
Ulfa, you are making the same mistakes as you did in your previous essays in this essay discussion. In fact, your mistakes even have an addition this time around because you forgot to discuss your personal opinion as instructed by the original prompt statement. Remember how I had previously told you that you need to learn how to analyze the original prompt in order to figure out what sorts of discussions belong in the 3 body of paragraphs? This essay also outlined the discussion pattern for your already but you failed to recognize it. The 3 body paragraphs for this essay should have reflected:

1. Opposing statement explanation
2. Supporting statement explanation
3. Personal opinion

The 3 paragraphs for discussion plus the opening and closing statement would have resulted in the standard and required 5 paragraph essay presentation. You also need to remember that you are allowed only a minimum of 3, maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph. Your paragraphs are inconsistent with the requirements as they contain overly long paragraphs or run-on sentences. You know how to fix these problems, I have told you enough times about how to do it in your previous essays. Please apply what I am advising you otherwise you will not be showing improvement and you may risk not passing the test because of it.

Since you did not completely discuss the tasks, you will scored on a tangential basis and most likely, based upon all of the errors in this paper, will keep you from reaching a passing score.
ying_chen 3 / 5  
Feb 16, 2018   #3
Hi, few of my suggestions

1. social media, such as Facebook, "L"ine and so forth. (Line should be using capital as it is proper noun)

2."virtues" means the behaviour showing high moral standards which I think is not so fit to the description. (probably "benefits", "advantages" is better)

Overall, I think it's lacking of few more personal opinions. However, I like your article which is using distinguished vocabularies and structural paragraph.


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