Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 1 : The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Isla



broibra 17 / 19  
Nov 20, 2015   #1
The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Island, according to tourist opinions. Overall, it can be seen that while holidaymakers like the occupants, high cost of living is the main reason that may deter tourists from visiting this place.

Firstly, the biggest drawback is living cost which stands at 45%, while the low quality of food is only one twentieth of the total. The weather condition and entertainment are two aspects tourists are not enjoyed, representing at around 20% and 30% respectively.

On the other hand, the other pie chart shows four points as reasons for why tourists are fond of visiting the island. 40% of the tourists cite the people on the island as an advantage, and the second major is the scenery, which is just 3% less, at 37%.

The proportion of visitors citing culture and great living places are almost the same. 12 % of visitors mention cultural reasons, and the smallest proportion of visitors cite great places to stay, at 11%.


  • 12277283_10206989999.jpg


nsahmad 11 / 14  
Nov 20, 2015   #2
Hi broibra, happy to read your writing.
I try to give you suggestion, hoping it will help you.

The weather condition and entertainment are two aspects tourists WHO are not enjoyed, representing at around 20% and 30% respectively.It needs conjunction to make your sentence enjoying to read.

On the other hand, the other(it is better to use another here, because remaining one pie) pie chart shows four points ...

40% of the tourists cite the people on the island as an advantage,(here, you need verb) and the second major is ...


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Isla
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳