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"the unemployment crisis" - issue of local, national, or international significance.



jtorres89 1 / 1  
Aug 27, 2011   #1
Hello all,
This is a rough draft of an essay for the common app. I'm not really sure where to go from here as I'm experiencing a bit of writers block. Any advice or revisions to the essay would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

the unemployment crisis



Many experts agree we are on the cusp of a global recession, and the risk for another economic downturn succeeding the 08-09 downturn continues to rise with each passing day. Organizations such as the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Bank have expressed concerns over this fear respectively. Thoughts of a global recession often bring to mind images of something similar to the Great Depression, or something possibly worse. In my opinion this is perhaps the most worrisome issue staring us in the face right now. One reason for this concern is that the economy ties into many different facets of daily life, both domestically and in other markets around the globe. Given the economies centrality to daily life it can affect not only me personally but every individual in some shape or form. This centrality gives it an overreaching power into countless lives which should make it a top priority and concern.

There is no denying the fact that the unemployment crisis in the U.S. and other developed nations is very severe, with the potential to worsen in the coming months. Economic growth in many advanced economies(America, Europe, Japan) is hardly present right now, which makes these countries susceptible to unforeseen bumps along the road; for example a natural disaster; which nowadays seems ever more common. As it stands the unemployment rate here alone in the U.S. is at 9.1%, this number worsens in a multitude of other large nations. The simple fact of the matter is that when more people are working, more companies are profiting, and economies expand. Right now a steep focus should be placed on getting America back to work; austerity in times like these may only worsening conditions to a greater extent.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Aug 28, 2011   #2
Many experts agree that we are on the cusp ... ---'downturn continues to rise' sounds a little bit funny...just sayin'.

...not only me personally, but ...

... a natural disaster, which ...

... at 9.1%, and this number ...

... may only worsening conditions ...

You're an excellent writer! I think you have this essay pretty much covered, except for saying how the current situation affects you personally or locally. Good luck in school and have fun. Keep writing, you're a natural!

:)
namato 7 / 16  
Aug 29, 2011   #3
I agree with EF susan, this is an excellent essay! My biggest concern is that it does not quite answer the prompt, it just states facts about the recession. Where in the essay do YOU come in? How have YOU been affected by the global recession? What does the essay say about YOU as a person? what special aspect of your personality can the adcom easily pick out from the essay? I think you need to rethink your approach.

Dont worry, I know what you mean about the writer's block. I've been stuck in one for the past month :/


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