Unemployment is inevitable issue in the society, especially among school leavers

More and more young people are leaving school but unable to find job (IELTS)

Nowaday unemployment rate is highly increasing and is ever-growing issue over the entire world, particularly among the young people. There are so many factors are closley linked to the matter of increasing the number of jobseekers. Lacking of academic qualification, absence of work experience and soft skills and having a great competition in the labour market are the main factors. I would like to enlighten each factors in the following paragraph.

It is a matter of fact, those youngester that are coming out of schools or dropped out , they are having struggle in starting to find a secure job. It is clear, teenagers are in the stages of development, they do not have enough life skills , which are requirement for so many positions. Having soft skills, get on with other people, self_confidence, self_control or resillence are not enough seen in young people. As a result, the can not be successful in the interview of job vacancies.

In addition, the labour market is very competitive. Getting employment or career will be so difficult without having any experience or academic qualification. However, the low skilled works are decreased in todays society, due to accelerating pace of life and technological advancement. Meanwhile, so many labor works are currently automated because of machinery development.Hence, need for human force are declined.

Furthermore, absence of recruitment could have bad consequence on an individual and on the society as a whole. Increasing the rate of jobseekers and unemployment may leave bad impact on the community in long term. Rising the rate of crimes and violence are indirectly attributed to this issue. Where as, providing the young people with training courses and teaching them rquirement skills. As well as, They should be well prepared by the government via compulsory courses, by allocating specific budget for tackling this turmoil among the school leavers.

In conclusion, unemployment is inevitable issue in the society, especially among school leavers. It can not be deeply rooted. The causes at least can be partially solved by the government and the authorities.

Rohznaz, you forgot to post the complete prompt requirements for this essay before you posted your response. I wish you had not forgotten to do that. That information would have helped me to better assess your essay in terms of quality and content. Now, I am reduced to giving only a general review of your essay. Please post the essay prompt as soon as you can so that I can give you more useful and relevant advice towards writing your next essay.

If you did paraphrase the prompt requirements in your opening statement, that is not clear to the reader. The paragraph does not clearly explain the point of the essay, what you are expected to discuss, and how you are supposed to discuss it. That lack of clarity comes from the fact that I cannot access the complete prompt requirement.

Why did you use an underscore when you wrote the term " self- confidence, self - control" ? As you can see, the proper way to write those terms was through the use of dash signs to signal a connected word. Don't use underscore signs in an academic essay. That is not something that is used in formal writing. Actually, the underscore is only used to underline words when using a typewriter. Since yo are using a computer to type the document, you will not need to use an underscore to underline important words.

Your essay is really confusing at the moment. The grammar issues are very bad because the reader is left wondering about the point of your idea, sentiment, or discussion. Basically, without the prompt requirement to refer to, your essay does not make any sense in terms of discussion.

It is pretty obvious that you were given a series of instructions that your discussion was supposed to be based upon. You need to provide the prompt requirement so that we can help you better develop your response essay.

@rozhnaz
You made some grammar errors which, I feel, are very common among the members of this site. And it would be better if you had written the topic as it is given to you. 'More and more young people are leaving school but unable to find job(IELTS)'... from this one actually I didn't understant the type your task: if it is a problem-solving essay or one in which you are required to predict causes/effects of the issue. Also, pay attention to your spelling ( closley, youngester...). Never mind this suggestion if your mistakes are keyboard-related or have smth to do with typing.

GOOD LUCK!

today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. Discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.(this is the topic)

The main problem with your essay is the opening statement. It does not contain the correct information. The opening statement is supposed to do a number of things:

1. Present a paraphrased version of the prompt for the benefit of the reader.
2. Present the outline of your discussion without offering any actual information yet.
3. Assure the reader that the essay will conform to the requirements of the discussion.

What you did was, you presented immediate information in the opening statement. That is not how it is done. You can offer clues as to the discussion that is to take place, but not offer the actual topics for discussion yet. So you need to learn how to hold back some information when writing your opening statement. The rest of your essay delivers as best as it can in terms of the discussion. Grammar problems abound but do not cause too much undue stress on the reader. So I guess that the lowest grade this essay can get will be a 5.