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Unhealthy lifestyle for students depend on their parents accountability and schools



Pramudia27 34 / 52  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
many children these day havec. both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
[b]to what extant do you agree with this statement?


Bad lifestyle for students depend on the accountability their parents and schools responsibility. I am strongly agrees with this notion owing to the fact that the most of pupils time is spent in both of school and housing life hood.

First of all, many students activities are that give bad effect for their body. Due to the fact that busy time in their schools will make them to forget their eating time. In case, the student who get exam in that day will focus on their test. Actually, they will forget that they have not eaten yet since early morning. This habit will make decreasing immunity of the pupil's body. Exactly, this will give worst effect for their health.

On the other hand, daily activity of all students is depends on school and housing schedule. Because of the schools have a rule that the students should do that. This is give negative impact for their education if they no do that. Furthermore, all of pupil's facilities have been provided by parents and schools. For example, unfortunately , the teacher is announce that tomorrow is final examinations. the student will pay attention about that, and also they will study hard until over night to understand all of the materiel in as much as they have not enough time to prepare it previously. The next day, they will go to school early morning. While, the parents should make a breakfast and remaining their child to eat before go to school. So, if the teachers give enough time for pupil to study, and parent have provided the meal for their son as well, the health of students will be good.

All in all, healthy live of student depend on their activity. Besides, the parent and school should responsible about managerial of pupil's time.

Anna94 47 / 50  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
Hello,

.... the accountability[of] their parents......
I am[I think you do not have to use linking verb or passive form because it changes the meaning] strongly agrees with this
... schools will make them to[without to] forget their eating time.
This habit will makedecreasing [decrease] immunity of the pupil's body.
... activity of all students is depends on school and ...
Because of the schools have a rule ...
the teacher is announce [it is verb form] that tomorrow ...
All in all, healthy live [life] of student depend on their activity.

Gluck :D
Beauty17 56 / 79  
Oct 25, 2016   #3
Hallo diana.. welcome to essay forum. Before i want to give you suggestion, i remind you to make valuable 2 comments before you upload your new essay. Here my suggestions for you..

1.Bad lifestyle for students depend on the accountability(What do you mean with this word? I think responsibility in this sentence already explain your idea) their parents and schools responsibility.

It should be :
" Bad lifestyle for students depend on ..."

2.Task respon : Bad lifestyle for students depend on the accountability their parents and schools responsibility. I am strongly agrees with this notion owing to the fact that the most of pupils time is spent in both of school and housing life hood

Why in your introductory paragraph you told only about student, while in question is asking about children? Better you should put word children to make your introductory paragraph able to answers the question

3...., many students activities are that give bad effect for their body.

What do you mean with are that give?
Are is verb give also verb. So you put 2 verbs in one sentence that unappropiate. Thus it should be

"First of all, many students activities give bad effect for their body"


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