Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The universe has begun with the second thermodynamic law of physics



Gigih12 10 / 7  
Oct 28, 2016   #1
please help me to correct my grammar to improve my writing...thank you

The history of the universe by David Christian

The universe has begun with the second thermodynamic law of physics. How is possible the universe make complexity? The answer could be the universe can create complexity but with big difficulty. In college it called as goldilocks condition which is not too hot and not too cold and complexity increase slightly step by step. 13.7 billions of year ago, there was nothing in the universe and it was so dark. After the big bang, the universe started to happen and expand although it contained a blow at the first. Suddenly, there are some energy such as electro-magnetic and gravity which are produced by the universe and continue to make proton, electron, and neutron. 380.000 years after big bang, simple atom appears which contains hydrogen and helium nuclei for capturing electrons to form stable atoms. Recent study by W map satellites show that big bang can make stars and it makes periodic table of chemistry becomes more complex. In brief, the universe is made by complex big bang which produce stars and all of the living things live in one of the star called as universe.

nda18 46 / 60  
Oct 28, 2016   #2
Hi Gigih12, here are my review towards your essay

...complexity increases slightly step by step...

...it called asby goldilocks condition.. [ the collocation for 'call' and followed by 'name' is 'by' -- e.g called by goldilocks ]

... hydrogen and helium nuclei(s) for capturing electrons to form stable atoms..
[ i think its not contain one nuclei]

...Recent study by W map satellites shows that...
[ watch your subject and verb agreement ]

...big bang can make stars...
[ you can replace this word with similiar word, 'make' is verb transitive, ditransitive exactly, it needs 2 object e.g. My mom makes cake to eat]

good luck :)


Home / Writing Feedback / The universe has begun with the second thermodynamic law of physics
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳