Should universities apply business-like skills instead of providing theoretical knowledge?

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Check out my essay and give it the band score if possible. I'll appreciate it!

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer, what is ur opinion?

functional skills and practical knowledge in schools curriculums?

As there are so much changes in the qualifications and criteria needed in the workforce, many people are concerned about whether universities should apply business-like skills instead of providing theoretical knowledge in their curriculums. I firmly believe that it would be better off if universities provide their graduates with practical knowledge in the workplace.

Firstly, it is obvious that the main reason high-school graduates going to university is to obtain specific knowledge and skills, which will enable them to acquire a promissing occupation. In fact, most enterprises when recruiting personel usually demand a certain experience on their candidates. This request might at some point be difficult for fresh-graduates to comply if they did not get exposured to the real working situations when in university. Therefore, by providing practical knowledge,universities are facilitating their students to cultivate their well-rounded mind and become more mature and thus acquire better job prospect in the future.

Secondly, the curriculums in some universities are becoming old-designed and may be inappropriate as there are many alternative approaches. Students spending three of four years attending those classes may be a waste of their time, energy and money. If a university ultilize new modern teaching programmes, not only will its graduates be more competitive in the job market, but the university can itself keep pace with the technological developments and move forward.

That is not to say university should neglect the pure scientific research. There are many students interested in theoretical subjects such as maths and philosophy, who choose to become scientists or scholars. Unfortunately, those people are few.

In conclusion, i would argue that the advantages of universities applying functional skills and practical knowledge in their teaching programmes do outweigh the disadvantages.

Hi,
I am pleased to read your essay.
I just want to point out some mistakes in your passage because I am not a capable proofreader.

As there are so much many changes ...

... to acquire a promissing occupation promising occupations.
... when recruiting personel personnels usually demand ...
... they did not get exposured exposed to the real ...
... universities are facilitating can help their students ...

If a university ultilize utilizes new ...

Hi, I think your ideas are quite nicely developed, but there are a lot of things to address. First of all, keep in mind that all your paragraphs should consist of more than 3 sentences. Your introduction and conclusion are below this quota. Also, I think the third paragraph of the body is unnecessary since it doesn't support your overall idea, and the paragraph itself isn't a strong one in terms of idea or language. It's better to just cross it out and invest your time in bettering other paragraphs. Hope this is helpful.

Quan, in addition to what Tran pointed out above, I would like to offer you a reminder when writing a direct response essay. You are never to address anything in the discussion except the opinion that you agree with. That is the standard discussion requirements of a Task 2 essay unless otherwise specified. Since you included an under developed opposing discussion, you turned the direct response into a compare and contrast discussion, which will have a direct effect on your final TA score.

It is also better to not count off the statements in your paragraph. This shows that you are not really confident of your discussions and you are trying to buy time in order to think of what to write. Instead of counting off, you should practice using transition sentences at the end of each paragraph. The transitions sentence should serve to introduce the next topic you will be discussing in the following paragraph. So the topic sentence sets up the discussion and introduction of the topic sentence which is located at the start of every paragraph.