Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Universities should require every student-take a variety of courses outside-course



GREASPI 4 / 8  
Jun 30, 2013   #1
GRE ISSUE TOPIC: "Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study."

"What if a company is governed by an individual who has no knowledge of how much his company is liable to pay tax, and what if future is full of highly competent, yet reserved individuals, who are hesitant even to sell their ideas." Such a condition will a nightmare for anyone like me and hence I feel universities should make it mandatory for students to take courses, which are outside their field of interest, necessary for day-to-day life. Reasons are as follows:

By the end of twentieth century, Computers have taken over the world. Gone are the days, when one has to wait for all his/her needs like booking tickets for trains or applying for documents like driving license, passport, etc. Now with the advent of information technology, every activity is done quickly and efficiently. Every state and private organisation's functioning is totally dependent on software systems to the extent that we are concerned with cyber crimes and hacking. Even in this era of social networking, the computer literacy level is lesser than required in my country. This should be addressed by mandating every student to undergo a structured training on usage of computers for their basic needs.

Secondly, as one graduates and gets into the world as a professional, he is trained on the core aspects of his studies. This trained individual has to mingle with the society to be its member. Moreover, he will in a position to interact with the various stake holders of the community he is in. This will happen seamlessly if the particular individual is capable of communicating things as they should be. If not, problem arises for the person, then for the group and ultimately for the nation. Thus an awareness on communication should be a prerequisite for every college student.

Apart from these, there are many instances when an individual or a nation is found to have difficulty in managing the funds. This is a universal problem that we have been through a series of recessions. This can be dealt with by giving individuals, especially students a solid base of finance. After all, students are going to be future policy makers for any nation.

Though there are various reasons for the implementation of certain courses in college curriculum irrespective of the discipline, the content selection and course administration should be in such a way that these extra courses should not demotivate the student to pursue his studies.

Therefore, I conclude that in order to be a complete person, a university student should be trained on necessary skills.

--Pease provide your valuable feedback regarding relevance, grammar, structure, usage of words, punctuation etc. Be as critical as possible. Your guidance means so much to me.

Thank You.--


kyh8252 1 / 5  
Jun 30, 2013   #2
the computer literacy level is lesser than required in my country.

awkward sentence, suggest revising! :)
Shumaila86 11 / 31  
Jun 30, 2013   #3
Such a condition will a nightmare

a condition will be a nightmare.

and hence I feel

and, hence, I feel ( always separate interruptive phrases or words with comma on both sides.

Gone are the days, when

I am not sure about this comma as dependent clause, if comes after the independent clause, should not be separated by comma.

Every state and private organisation's functioning is totally dependent on software systems to the extent that we are concerned with cyber crimes and hacking

try to rephrase this sentence as meanings are not clear here. try this: efficiency of every state or private organizations depends on the software systems to the extent that the risks of cyber crimes and hacking has increased.

on usage of computers

on the usage of computer

Moreover, he will in a position to interact with the various stake holders of the community he is in.

i guess you are trying to say: Moreover, he also needs to interact with the various stake holders of the community

giving individuals, especially students a solid base

individuals, especially students, a solid base

Though there are various reasons for the implementation of certain courses in college curriculum irrespective of the discipline, the content selection and course administration should be in such a way that these extra courses should not demotivate the student to pursue his studies.

better break it into two sentences and keep it as simple as possible. two advantages: 1. it will make your idea more understandable
2. less chances of grammar mistakes.
As a reader not as a corrector, I want to say your ideas, grammar and vocabulary all are fine except you are not delivering your ideas properly because sentence structure needs some attention.

Hope it helped. Good Luck
OP GREASPI 4 / 8  
Jul 1, 2013   #4
GREASPI:
the computer literacy level is lesser than required in my country.

awkward sentence, suggest revising! :)

----------------

Thank you.

Can I use " Even in this era of social networking, my country's computer literacy level is no way near to the global standards."?


Home / Writing Feedback / Universities should require every student-take a variety of courses outside-course
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳