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IELTS writing task2: Universities should not teach arts subjects, agree or disagree?

shan2 2 / 5 1  
Jan 5, 2018   #1
Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach art subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment.

don't abandon art subjects at schools!

Even though it's more and more difficult to find a position in the workplace and the tuition fee in universities is increasing, I still disagree that we should abandon art subjects due to the following reason.

We all know the technology, such as computer, digital and communication devices change rapidly in the 20th century. We are unable to master only one skill like our parents or grandparents used to do and thinking we can rely on it for the whole life. Rather we have to think outside the box and coming out with new ideas that people need it but haven't invent it. By doing so, it requires the creativities to invent the new products that haven't exist and the ability to find out the people's need.

That's why arts subjects are so importance. For example, philosophy give us the sight of question the staffs around us and finding the nature of staffs, contributing us to think creativity, in addition, history tells us how it becomes progressive one step by step, which helps us thinking more logically and find out people's need. Still, art

For instance, it's no doubt that Steven Jobs is the genius of inventor in this century, if you have read his biography, you would find that he mentioned not only one times the important of art and philosophy effected his way of thinking, making him find out the element of staff and eventually came out of the surface that people easy to use with the perfect appearance. He also said that, sometimes you don't think the two things are relevant, however as you combine them together. It turns out to be a surprising result.

In conclusion, according to the reason I mentioned above, despite the fact that the practical degree is easily to find a job, I strongly stand on the side of supporting people need to learn art subjects in order to improving the creativities and logical thinking. After all, that's why people can distinguish themselves from the robot.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752  
Jan 5, 2018   #2
Liang, the first thing you need to know about this essay is that it does not properly paraphrase the original discussion topic and instructions. The second is that you are not discussing it along the correct line because of your inaccurate discussion instruction paraphrase. Let me break these two specific problems for you below.

The opening paraphrase is used to represent the type of understanding that you have of the original discussion topic and instruction as presented to you for your use in this practice essay or, in an actual exam. The purpose of this paragraph is to have you prove to the examiner that you are capable of understanding and following English discussions and instructions by repeating what you read in your own terms.

The discussion instruction line at the end of your original prompt explains to you how the essay should be discussed. Since you were asked for the "extent" of your agreement or disagreement with the essay, you need to use the so-called "emphasis" words in your response. The emphasis words are strongly, partially, somewhat, to a certain extent, as the most commonly used descriptors. Therefore, the correct representation of this essay paraphrase paragraph would have been something like:

Due to the steadily rising college tuition fees but lack of job opportunities for the graduates, concerned persons have come to the conclusion that universities can skip teaching any Arts and Sciences classes. That is because the focus of college should only be on helping students develop their skills in specific fields so they can be sure to get a job after graduation. I strongly disagree with this statement for several reasons.

Your body paragraphs truly support your discussion facts and makes a compelling case for your support of the continued teaching of arts and science on a college level. However, you neglected to deliver a strong concluding statement because you had a run on sentence for your first sentence in that paragraph. By separating the comments with a period, you would have been able to properly close your reasoning via summary of the discussion for this essay.

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